1
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,473
- I want breasts.

2
00:00:57,975 --> 00:00:59,810
- How do you want 'em?

3
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:00,894
- Big.

4
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:03,647
And juicy.

5
00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:06,942
- Spicy or regular?

6
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,026
- Bouncy.

7
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,611
- Anything else?

8
00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:10,946
- A wing.

9
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:14,283
- That's two spicy breasts and a wing.

10
00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:17,995
- Binjo!

11
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,372
- Drive through, please.

12
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,004
- Hey, Turk.

13
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,881
You wanna drink with that?

14
00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:32,342
- Sure, how about a Sex on the Beach

15
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:35,304
followed by 12 orgasms?

16
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,639
- You know we don't have no liquor.

17
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,642
- Lick her?

18
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,269
I barely know her!

19
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,320
- Oh, yeah.

20
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,098
- Wingman.

21
00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,603
- Ah!

22
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:18,615
- Nice face.

23
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,204
Yeah.

24
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,545
2100 hours exactly.

25
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:36,842
Your, uh, wingman is now officially on the clock.

26
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,176
Tonight, I'm gonna get you laid

27
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:41,096
faster than an olive-oil soaked butt plug

28
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:44,307
bouncing down the side of Brokeback Mountain.

29
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:50,522
- So, how exactly does this work anyhow?

30
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,607
- You pick out the hottie you want,

31
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,860
we stride on up there.

32
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,528
And then, I build you up to the point

33
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:57,654
that you're so irresistible,

34
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:00,282
even a one-legged nun at a gopher hole festival

35
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,367
couldn't resist power-slamming you.

36
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,458
I'll take out the Klingon friend,

37
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:11,877
then you're on your own.

38
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,673
- How do I know it works?

39
00:04:16,755 --> 00:04:18,884
- Does an elephant know how to jerk itself off

40
00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:20,260
with its own nose?

41
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,892
- Come on, let's go.

42
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,233
- Hello, ladies.

43
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,195
Can we, uh,

44
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,031
buy you some drinks?

45
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,992
- I don't know. Can you afford a bottle of Cristal?

46
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:45,869
- This is Todd Barker.

47
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,705
5'9", 186 pounds,

48
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,790
half Irish, two-thirds Italian,

49
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,751
1% Native American,

50
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,085
Navajo tribe.

51
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,337
Thanks for asking.

52
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,797
He works at a successful law firm downtown,

53
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,341
makes 49K a year,

54
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:03,011
10-year trajectory, 600K, annually.

55
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,472
Blood type O, no trace of disease

56
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,349
or mental illness in his gene pool,

57
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:10,268
although he does have a brother who once got arrested

58
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:13,188
for shooting through an Arby's drive-through window.

59
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,774
He's only been with three women.

60
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,692
Almost had a homosexual encounter

61
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,779
in a public restroom in Germany after he left college.

62
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,322
He's allergic to cats.

63
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,532
He doesn't snore.

64
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,951
He prefers steak over seafood.

65
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,161
And he's been circumcised.

66
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,872
Twice.

67
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:31,998
- Twice.

68
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,084
- Any, uh, questions?

69
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,461
- Excuse us for a second.

70
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,296
- Are you fucking kidding me?

71
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,173
How did you know all this stuff?

72
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,467
- I'm good at my job.

73
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,928
- Okay, looks like we'll take that drink after all.

74
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,847
- I thought so.

75
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,976
- Hi.

76
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:55,438
- What is that unbelievable smell?

77
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,274
Are you wearing cologne?

78
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,984
- It's just a little something I picked up

79
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,569
when I was in Paris.

80
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:03,905
Kindness, forgiveness, cherish,

81
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:07,075
KFC, number seven.

82
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,661
- You're fucking hot.

83
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:10,495
- I know.

84
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,830
- Hey there, gorgeous.

85
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,499
Do you work in a museum,

86
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:15,917
because you're a work of art?

87
00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:20,922
- Ah, my face!

88
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:23,550
Ah! Ah!

89
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,385
- Upstairs, there's literally, like,

90
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:26,720
a flight piercing sound in the-

91
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,888
- Ugh! Ugh! - Whoa!

92
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,015
Whoa! - Oh my god.

93
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:30,849
- What is that? - Skip!

94
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,684
I like the new look!

95
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,395
Girls are into narwhals these days, right?

96
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:36,896
- You better not show up to our wedding like that.

97
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,231
You might steal my thunder.

98
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:39,774
- Yeah, and pop all the balloons.

99
00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:40,984
- Dude, come here, come here. - Just take it out,

100
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,152
please, please.

101
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,194
- Oh!

102
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:44,195
- Oh!

103
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,822
- Am I pussing, am I pussing?

104
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,824
- No, it doesn't look good. - All right.

105
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,076
Okay, guys, guys, all right, a toast.

106
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,330
To Bob and Terri and your last few days of being single.

107
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,081
- Aw. - Okay, fine.

108
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,458
Here's to Bob and Terri,

109
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,418
the most obnoxiously cute couple I've ever met.

110
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,669
- Mhmm. - Thank you.

111
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,547
- And here's to the world's best boss

112
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,716
becoming the world's best husband.

113
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:07,594
- Aw. - Okay, fine, my turn.

114
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:10,722
Here's to the most amazing girlfriend in the world,

115
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:14,434
and come next week, the most amazing wife.

116
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,937
Oh, most importantly, here's to closing the Alfab account!

117
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:18,855
Finally!

118
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,441
- Yeah!

119
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,944
- Yeah!

120
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:29,699
- Hi.

121
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:30,533
Hello.

122
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,493
- Hi.

123
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:32,994
- My name is Kazzim.

124
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:36,164
- Nice to meet you, Kazzim.

125
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,583
- Very beautiful woman.

126
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,085
Your skin is very beautiful.

127
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,754
It's like the chocolate

128
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,757
cascading down a Dairy Queen sundae.

129
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,927
No nuts, I hope, you know?

130
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,428
Day and age.

131
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:51,972
These kids, nuts, no nuts.

132
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,139
I have nuts, they have nuts.

133
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,100
We all have nuts, everybody's nuts.

134
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:57,644
- I don't think-

135
00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,313
- Can I get you boys some shots?

136
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,731
- And staring in your eyes

137
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:05,443
is like staring at the beautiful stars in the sky.

138
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:06,528
- Wow.

139
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,739
Okay.

140
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,493
- Mm, these are good.

141
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:14,619
Thank you, man. - Hey.

142
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,579
- You know, one for my dead dog.

143
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,081
- Yeah.

144
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,629
- And we will make babies.

145
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:28,216
We will have little Raju, Sangita.

146
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,510
Rajinder.

147
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,595
Sandeep.

148
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,972
And don't forget Chandala.

149
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,517
He's our crippled one. - Oh.

150
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,561
- You can't have all good ones.

151
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,730
- Wow, that's... - I plan on breeding.

152
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:45,025
I want to win the breeders cup.

153
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,151
- That's, uh.

154
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,570
- I like your little flower there.

155
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:49,529
- Mhmm.

156
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,613
- Mm!

157
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,450
- I like your halitosis, shit breath.

158
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,537
- Listen, I'm, I'm with someone, so.

159
00:08:58,747 --> 00:08:59,831
- That, that guy?

160
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,834
- Right?

161
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,837
Ah! - That guy?

162
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,339
- Yeah, yeah, that guy.

163
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,674
- Are you sure?

164
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,509
Is that what you want for the rest of your life?

165
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,639
I would love to have the opportunity to win your heart.

166
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,976
Cheers.

167
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,060
Cohagala.

168
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,188
You know cohagala?

169
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,356
- It's Coca-Cola. - Ah ha, I had it wrong.

170
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,399
- Yeah.

171
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:32,864
- Mission accomplished.

172
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,575
Jumbo's in the parking lot eating chicken.

173
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:40,914
- Terri!

174
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,249
Terri! - Still working

175
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,501
with the bottom feeders, huh?

176
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,255
It's okay, Turk.

177
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,050
You're gonna hit the big league someday.

178
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,887
- Suck a Shell station glory hole, Eddie.

179
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,430
- What did your client bag ya, tonight?

180
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,681
Five, 600?

181
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,814
60K for that basket case.

182
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:07,982
- Terri?

183
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,734
- His lady never stood a chance.

184
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,152
Hooked her up with one of my high rollers

185
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,612
in about 20 minutes.

186
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,574
Yeah.

187
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,368
And I'm the only wingman in town

188
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,286
that comes with a guarantee.

189
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,371
Why?

190
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,581
Because I'm that good.

191
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,709
I got a little something for you though.

192
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:31,756
- Terri!

193
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,176
Terri, where you are?

194
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,303
I miss you.

195
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,391
- We'll see about your guarantee.

196
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,102
Asshole.

197
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,947
- Terri? Is that you?

198
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,240
- Terri's gone, kid.

199
00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,868
You want her back,

200
00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:01,953
you call me.

201
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:04,664
You wanna forget about her and get some new tail,

202
00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:06,791
call me, too.

203
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:15,967
- Got it, Ms. Cromwell,

204
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,011
the Global Speedway presentation is coming along fine.

205
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,971
- The presentation has to be flawless.

206
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,431
- Fast and full of energy.

207
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:25,435
- This client is building first-class race car tracks

208
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,228
across the globe.

209
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:30,148
We have to win this bid.

210
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,608
- Dimples.

211
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,859
- What was that?

212
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:34,444
- Uh, simple.

213
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,779
It'll be simple, piece of cake.

214
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,323
- It better be.

215
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,992
Our future is in your hands, Bob.

216
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,160
- Ye-

217
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,580
Oh.

218
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:46,831
- Yo, Bobby! - Hey.

219
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,124
- Bobby, boy! - Hey!

220
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,668
- Time for happy hour at O'Grady's.

221
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:51,628
- Hey, guys.

222
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:53,922
Look at those dimples, huh?

223
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,343
- Bob, it's been five months, dude.

224
00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,928
- Terri ain't coming back.

225
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,096
And if you ask me,

226
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,514
better off now than if you guys got married.

227
00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,266
- You'll see.

228
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,351
She'll be back.

229
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,186
We had something.

230
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,437
- No, no, no.

231
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,022
Mr. Smooth Moves has something, all right.

232
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:15,276
Race cars, a Fortune 500 company, style.

233
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,070
She's gone, Bob, move on.

234
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:20,573
- Yeah, it's time for someone who's not so runaway bride.

235
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,533
- She's the only girl I've ever had.

236
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,661
The only girl I've ever had sex with!

237
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,789
- Jesus, we gotta get you laid.

238
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,290
- All right, let's go, come on, buddy.

239
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:32,001
- I got so much I gotta do. - Ah, it's time for shots!

240
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,461
Let's go. Tequila. - Come on.

241
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:34,545
- That can wait till tomorrow. - Tequila?

242
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:35,713
- Yeah. - Okay.

243
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,006
- There we go. - Yeah, I can use a drink.

244
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:55,358
- Oh, remind me to stick to girly drinks from now on.

245
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,151
Okay? - Come on, Holly.

246
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:57,902
You can handle it.

247
00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,237
Besides, you know the rule.

248
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,614
Remember, hmm, if you wanna be my assistant,

249
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:02,740
you have to?

250
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,158
- Keep up with the boys.

251
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:06,035
- Oh, okay, well, thanks.

252
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,912
But I prefer men. - Ah.

253
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:11,082
- So you boys just carry on.

254
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,209
- All right, well, let's get down to business.

255
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,920
It's time to get Bob hooked up again.

256
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,046
- Come on, you guys.

257
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,091
You, you gotta just let it happen.

258
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,886
You can't manufacture love.

259
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:25,930
- It's true.

260
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,223
Phil Collins said you can't hurry it either.

261
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,933
- Yeah.

262
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:31,060
- Redhead incoming at four o'clock.

263
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,021
- She's beautiful, but I'm good right now, man.

264
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:35,690
- Come on. - Go introduce yourself, bro.

265
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,358
- Oh, no, ah, right now?

266
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:40,778
- Ah, come on, we're going.

267
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:42,488
We're going, we're going, we're going.

268
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:43,781
- All right, all right. - That a boy.

269
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:48,411
- Have fun. - I believe in you.

270
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,622
- I believe in you. - Thank you.

271
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:52,582
Howdy!

272
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,959
That was stupid, ah.

273
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,127
You know, I just wanted to,

274
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,837
you know, I saw you from my friends

275
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,797
and I just wanted to say hello.

276
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,884
- Look, I'm just, I'm really not in the mood, okay?

277
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,135
- Okay, sure.

278
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,846
She's not in the mood. - Be charming. Be funny.

279
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,556
- Be funny? - Yes.

280
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,808
- Come on, it's called happy hour,

281
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:12,602
not depressed hour.

282
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,146
- Look, this is just a really bad time, okay?

283
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:19,859
- Come on, it's not like somebody died!

284
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:20,943
Did they?

285
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,202
- It's all right, man.

286
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,664
- Yeah. - Nice.

287
00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:35,166
- Wow.

288
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:38,628
That went well, I see. - So you think she's the one?

289
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:40,838
- There's a possibility, I think.

290
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,642
- Well, it looks like,

291
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,397
looks like it came out pretty clean.

292
00:14:58,815 --> 00:14:59,816
Sorta.

293
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,528
- Hey, thanks for dropping me off, Holly.

294
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,196
Sorry I've been out of my mind.

295
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,365
It's just, you know.

296
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,492
- Yeah, I know.

297
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:14,455
Oh, um, this bizarre pen in your shirt pocket,

298
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:15,540
I almost washed it.

299
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,416
It's, um.

300
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:17,708
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

301
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,877
No, I've been holding on to that for months.

302
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:21,212
- "Get laid."

303
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,421
- The guy that gave it to me

304
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:23,965
said he could help me get Terri back.

305
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:26,676
He was there at the bar the night she dumped me.

306
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,553
But I don't, it's so stupid.

307
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:33,808
- Oh, wait, but you're not actually considering this,

308
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,685
are you? - No!

309
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,687
No.

310
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,605
- Okay, 'cause like a wingman?

311
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,191
What? Are you still in high school?

312
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,067
- I'll get rid of it. - Okay.

313
00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,735
- Just, yeah. - Okay.

314
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:48,573
And not to be your mother, but come on, Bob.

315
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,159
Your place is a disaster area.

316
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:52,243
Like, look at this.

317
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:55,121
I found rat turds in the kitchen.

318
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,455
That's disgusting.

319
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,416
- Terri's the one, Holly.

320
00:15:58,499 --> 00:15:59,584
I'm telling you, she's just going through

321
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:00,543
some stuff right now.

322
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:01,627
She's gonna,

323
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,881
she'll be back.

324
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:09,510
My place is falling apart.

325
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,428
It's okay.

326
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,014
- You know, Bob,

327
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:16,642
sooner or later you're gonna have to move on.

328
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,437
There are other good people out there in the world.

329
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,064
You just gotta go looking. - No.

330
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,441
No. No.

331
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,067
See, I think you saw tonight,

332
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,861
I don't know how to move on.

333
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,530
I'll get Terri back, you'll see.

334
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:30,781
Mark my words.

335
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,327
- Why would you even want her?

336
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,539
- What did you say?

337
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,792
- Uh, goodnight, Bob.

338
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,669
- Oh, yeah. Goodnight.

339
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,964
- Yeah. - Oh, and Holly.

340
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,049
- Yep?

341
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:53,638
- Yeah.

342
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:54,722
Sure, Bob.

343
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,642
I'll tell him, "Hello."

344
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:10,738
- Wingman.

345
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,866
What have I got to lose?

346
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:41,018
- Ow!

347
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,563
- Hey, Numbfuck! - What the?

348
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:45,982
- Over here.

349
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:48,651
- Ah.

350
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,195
Was that really necessary?

351
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,030
- How you doing, partner?

352
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,699
Turk Thompson.

353
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:55,825
Wingman. - Hey.

354
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,661
Bob Erdman, junior executive at the-

355
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,788
- Yeah, yeah, I know who you are.

356
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,165
- You do? - Drink up.

357
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,584
Got ya a Coke.

358
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,753
- Oh, that's awfully kind of you, thank you.

359
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,715
- Now, how many, uh,

360
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:12,049
women you've been with?

361
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,635
- One.

362
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,227
- Are you cereal?

363
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,563
- Yeah, but I mean, she was the love of my life.

364
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:26,564
And a few months ago-

365
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,149
- Oh, yeah. I saw.

366
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,276
And as much as I despise Eddie,

367
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,570
he ran the old shot and shitter perfectly.

368
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,740
Ha, works every time.

369
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,408
- Shot and shitter? I don't understand.

370
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:40,286
- Yeah, he was buying you shots all night, right?

371
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,455
You were just pounding them down.

372
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,915
And when you're in the shitter puking your guts out,

373
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:48,002
his client is walking away with your girl.

374
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,420
- Oh my god!

375
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,713
That's exactly what happened.

376
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,215
That's, how did I not?

377
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,426
Am I that stupid?

378
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:57,595
- Love makes you stupid, kid.

379
00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,889
You, uh, sure you want her back again?

380
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,604
- Thanks, baby lumps.

381
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,440
Leave it to me.

382
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:10,983
We'll get your fiance back.

383
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,235
- Okay, you know what?

384
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,153
I'm in.

385
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,280
I'll drink to that.

386
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:17,740
- First things first.

387
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:18,783
How big's your cock?

388
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,119
The size of a man's hot dog

389
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:25,956
tells me just about everything I need to know about him.

390
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,041
- Hot dog?

391
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:31,629
- Look, I don't do business with guys with small cocks.

392
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,172
They're too angry.

393
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,091
Now, guys that are too big, on the other hand,

394
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,593
think they know more than me and they don't listen.

395
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,845
And that's when things go wrong!

396
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:48,312
- I mean, it makes sense.

397
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:50,773
- Here's what I need you to do, Broccoli Teeth.

398
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:54,068
I need you to take these onion rings down into the john.

399
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,404
Stack them on the bald cyclops,

400
00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,322
and let me know the count.

401
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:01,075
- The count? Are you fucking nuts, man?

402
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,494
- Okay, been nice meeting you, kid.

403
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,579
Good luck with everything.

404
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,289
- Oh, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

405
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,499
Just sit down.

406
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,585
Just...

407
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,504
Look, what do you need me to do?

408
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,673
- Stack 'em on Mushroom Mountain.

409
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,217
14 is too many,

410
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,720
and under three is a deal breaker.

411
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:25,015
- I can't just stack onion rings on my,

412
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,018
my cock, man.

413
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:30,020
Besides, I'm not even.

414
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:31,105
- What?

415
00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,524
- Hard.

416
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:37,027
- You, uh, sure about that, Charlie Candy Cane?

417
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,279
- Am I sure?

418
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:39,822
I think I would know if I have a boner!

419
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,032
Oh!

420
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:44,201
- Viagra.

421
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:46,036
I put three of them in your Coke.

422
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,330
I like to get the, uh, technical stuff

423
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,541
out of the way right at the top.

424
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:52,042
- You're nuts! You're a madman!

425
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,044
This is a huge mistake!

426
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,088
- Calm down, Space Ranger.

427
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,841
We are gonna get your fiance back.

428
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:01,135
Now, stack 'em!

429
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:30,331
- What the hell am I doing?

430
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,336
Okay.

431
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:36,712
Come on, Bob.

432
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:38,631
Oh!

433
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,305
- Pervert!

434
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,431
- Asshole.

435
00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:49,767
Should've let 'em cool off first.

436
00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:55,272
- Oh!

437
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,567
God!

438
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,954
- Eight. - Ha, not bad.

439
00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:14,041
Looks like we, uh, we got ourselves a deal.

440
00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:15,251
- Do you think we can maybe stop

441
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,837
and, like, get some ice or something?

442
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,923
- Only thing that's gonna work for that is Slurpee anal.

443
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,926
- Slurpee anal?

444
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:24,760
- Yeah.

445
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:27,429
Large Slurpee, lid,

446
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,056
flip it upside down.

447
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:34,812
Cut in an asshole, put it back on your lap.

448
00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:38,816
And stuff it like a taxidermist stuffing a dead bobcat.

449
00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:43,070
- Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

450
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:01,255
- What is that?

451
00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:03,507
Is that Raspberry Sunblast?

452
00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:05,342
- Uh, no, this is Goofy Grape.

453
00:23:05,426 --> 00:23:07,303
- Oh, that's gonna stain.

454
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:08,304
- What? - Yeah.

455
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:10,180
You're gonna have Smurf cock.

456
00:23:10,264 --> 00:23:12,349
- Smurf cock? Jesus Christ!

457
00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:15,436
Look, maybe this whole thing was just a bad idea.

458
00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:17,771
- Listen, Forehead Face.

459
00:23:17,855 --> 00:23:21,901
I take my job very seriously and I ain't lost a client yet.

460
00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:24,737
We are gonna get you laid,

461
00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:27,114
and then we're gonna get your fiance back.

462
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,867
- What if she doesn't want me back? What if-

463
00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:36,123
- She will want you back!

464
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:40,461
One grand up front and the rest when we finish.

465
00:23:42,713 --> 00:23:43,964
- Deal. Deal.

466
00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:52,306
I gotta say, Turk.

467
00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,558
This car's a bit of a throwback.

468
00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:56,935
You don't see these around much anymore.

469
00:23:57,019 --> 00:23:59,188
- That's 'cause most people can't handle 'em.

470
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,482
Only someone who understands speed

471
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:03,692
can drive the orgasm-mobile.

472
00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:06,528
- Orgasm-mobile?

473
00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:11,575
- Yep, and that's her G-spot right there.

474
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:14,536
You touch her just right.

475
00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:16,664
Whisper sweet nothings in her ear.

476
00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:21,835
And there ain't a car alive that can catch her!

477
00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:23,337
Oh, what's that, baby, hm?

478
00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:25,381
Oh, mm, oh yeah.

479
00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:26,715
Mm, Daddy hears ya.

480
00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:28,133
Mmm.

481
00:24:28,217 --> 00:24:31,011
Like a bit of that Cajun blackened catfish,

482
00:24:31,095 --> 00:24:32,262
Honey Child?

483
00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:35,432
Oh, Daddy gon touch you tonight, Baby Love.

484
00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:37,768
Mm, oh, yeah.

485
00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:39,812
Oh, baby.

486
00:24:42,064 --> 00:24:43,691
- Turk, Turk, but... - Shut up!

487
00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:46,902
Ee, I'm in the middle of cunnilingus!

488
00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:50,447
That's right, oh, oh, like a piece of bubble gum

489
00:24:50,531 --> 00:24:52,116
under a school boy's desk.

490
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,200
Mmm.

491
00:24:53,951 --> 00:24:55,202
Mm, Baby Love.

492
00:24:55,285 --> 00:24:58,789
Mm, Daddy got the Cajun catfish finger, Baby Love.

493
00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,792
- That's, look, Turk. - Yeah, shut up.

494
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:05,337
Mm.

495
00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:06,630
Oh.

496
00:25:08,382 --> 00:25:09,842
Little Puffy Puff.

497
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:12,302
- Turk, Turk, listen. - Puffy, Puffy, Puffy Puff.

498
00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:14,471
- Turk, Turk, listen!

499
00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:16,140
I'm already late for a meeting!

500
00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:17,891
- Late? - Yeah.

501
00:25:17,975 --> 00:25:19,601
- Are you fucking cereal?

502
00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:21,478
A wingman's never late!

503
00:25:21,562 --> 00:25:24,314
Hold on, Onion Rings!

504
00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:25,524
- Whoa!

505
00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:26,775
- Ah!

506
00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:30,446
- Oh!

507
00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:56,180
Oh!

508
00:25:59,725 --> 00:26:04,021
How in the hell did you do that?

509
00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:06,440
- I make my own special fuel, kid.

510
00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:09,693
Yeah, even installed an extra tank.

511
00:26:09,777 --> 00:26:12,863
This shit's stronger than nitrous oxide,

512
00:26:12,946 --> 00:26:15,699
but it only lasts about as long as a human orgasm

513
00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:19,661
so you can only use it in real emergencies.

514
00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:21,747
- You make your own gasoline?

515
00:26:21,830 --> 00:26:24,458
So what, now you're an expert in women and cars?

516
00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:27,711
- Well, they're pretty much the same thing.

517
00:26:27,795 --> 00:26:29,379
Keep 'em lubed, you,

518
00:26:29,463 --> 00:26:30,547
you ride 'em fast,

519
00:26:30,631 --> 00:26:32,007
and you trade 'em in

520
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:35,135
before there's too many cracks in the upholstery.

521
00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:39,807
You, uh, you better get to work, kid.

522
00:26:39,890 --> 00:26:43,352
- Yeah.

523
00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:57,533
It was crazy, man, you wouldn't believe it.

524
00:26:57,616 --> 00:26:58,909
- You gotta hire him, bro.

525
00:26:58,992 --> 00:27:00,661
You got nothing to lose.

526
00:27:00,744 --> 00:27:03,413
- This guy's more of a wing nut than a wingman.

527
00:27:03,497 --> 00:27:05,332
- Look, if you want Terri back and he can help,

528
00:27:05,415 --> 00:27:07,584
then who cares, right?

529
00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:09,461
- I guess. - I'll research him.

530
00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:10,671
I'll Google his ass big time

531
00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:12,464
until I know everything about him.

532
00:27:12,548 --> 00:27:13,423
- You're the man, Skip.

533
00:27:20,097 --> 00:27:21,431
- This is Bob.

534
00:27:21,515 --> 00:27:25,602
- Tonight, eight o'clock at the Grand.

535
00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:28,397
Nice shirt and tie, Choir Boy.

536
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,399
What'd you do, rob a trailer park?

537
00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:40,450
I still see you.

538
00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:42,327
Coffee stains.

539
00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:46,290
Fly's open.

540
00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:51,420
Sweet freckled lasagna.

541
00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:55,299
- Hmm?

542
00:27:55,382 --> 00:27:57,551
I like a pop of red, but I don't know with this outfit.

543
00:27:57,634 --> 00:28:00,304
Maybe it's this one?

544
00:28:00,387 --> 00:28:02,472
- Uh, yeah, I don't know, I trust you.

545
00:28:02,556 --> 00:28:05,225
I always let Terri pick up my clothes for me, so.

546
00:28:06,310 --> 00:28:08,228
- And why is that?

547
00:28:09,563 --> 00:28:11,315
- Well, you're my assistant.

548
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:12,691
You know how busy I am.

549
00:28:12,774 --> 00:28:14,985
I feel like shopping's just this big time waster.

550
00:28:17,321 --> 00:28:20,741
- Sometimes the time wasters are the most important things

551
00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:22,284
in a relationship, Bob.

552
00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:24,661
- Oh, so you're telling me

553
00:28:24,745 --> 00:28:26,872
if I had helped her pick out the candles for our wedding,

554
00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:29,124
then maybe she would've stayed, hmm.

555
00:28:30,792 --> 00:28:32,127
- You'd be surprised.

556
00:28:35,464 --> 00:28:37,049
It's the little things, Bob.

557
00:28:38,425 --> 00:28:39,801
The special things.

558
00:28:46,808 --> 00:28:48,852
- Yeah, we had special things.

559
00:28:48,936 --> 00:28:50,771
We like had,

560
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:55,609
in the mornings,

561
00:28:55,692 --> 00:28:57,569
I used to, uh, call her my morning bird

562
00:28:57,653 --> 00:29:00,072
and I would whistle sweet nothings into her ear,

563
00:29:00,155 --> 00:29:01,573
a little something like...

564
00:29:13,251 --> 00:29:15,420
- Caw! Caw!

565
00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:18,924
- I used to do crow calls as a little girl, so.

566
00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:20,550
- I love that. - Mhmm.

567
00:29:21,218 --> 00:29:22,594
- I didn't know that.

568
00:29:26,264 --> 00:29:27,849
Holy shit, it's Terri.

569
00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:34,272
- Passion!

570
00:29:34,356 --> 00:29:35,357
- Ooh.

571
00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:37,276
Obsession!

572
00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:39,278
- Mm, a squirter.

573
00:29:39,361 --> 00:29:40,112
- Mm.

574
00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:41,363
- That's him.

575
00:29:41,446 --> 00:29:42,739
That's the guy that stole Terri from me.

576
00:29:42,823 --> 00:29:44,658
- Poison. - Seduction.

577
00:29:44,741 --> 00:29:46,076
- Ooh!

578
00:29:46,159 --> 00:29:47,369
J-Lo. - Oh.

579
00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:49,997
- Mmm.

580
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,331
- Killer, it smells killer.

581
00:29:51,415 --> 00:29:52,666
- Oh, look what they're wearing.

582
00:29:52,749 --> 00:29:53,500
They're matching.

583
00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:56,837
- Yeah, it's almost like

584
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:58,880
they might have gone shopping together

585
00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:01,008
or, as you would say, a time-waster.

586
00:30:01,091 --> 00:30:02,592
- Mm.

587
00:30:02,676 --> 00:30:03,677
Ooh!

588
00:30:04,761 --> 00:30:06,430
Come to Me. - Ooh.

589
00:30:06,513 --> 00:30:08,473
- Does that smell like come to you?

590
00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:10,767
- Ooh, yes.

591
00:30:12,352 --> 00:30:13,729
- Give me all your Come.

592
00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:15,772
I need you to come to me so I can get the Come to Me,

593
00:30:15,856 --> 00:30:18,025
and we can go once we get all the Come.

594
00:30:18,108 --> 00:30:19,151
I'll be right back, darling.

595
00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:20,694
- Okay! - Can you gift wrap the Come?

596
00:30:20,777 --> 00:30:22,612
- Oh, he's leaving, he's leaving.

597
00:30:22,696 --> 00:30:23,780
- Shouldn't... - I gotta go.

598
00:30:23,864 --> 00:30:25,949
Shh, Holly! - Shouldn't, oh my god.

599
00:30:30,203 --> 00:30:32,122
- So you left me for this clown?

600
00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:33,457
- Bob, what are you doing here?

601
00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:34,833
- I can't believe you, Terri.

602
00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:36,251
You're gonna walk away from a good thing

603
00:30:36,335 --> 00:30:37,586
for a guy that likes perfume?

604
00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:39,004
What are you doing?

605
00:30:39,087 --> 00:30:40,338
- This isn't the time.

606
00:30:43,383 --> 00:30:44,843
- Oh, now's not the time?

607
00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:46,762
But walking out on our wedding a week before it happens,

608
00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:47,763
that's the time?

609
00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:49,056
Is that how you like to do it?

610
00:30:49,139 --> 00:30:50,057
- You know, I didn't just walk out, Bob.

611
00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:51,808
It was a long-time coming.

612
00:30:56,980 --> 00:30:57,898
- What do you mean a long time coming?

613
00:30:57,981 --> 00:30:58,982
We were happy!

614
00:30:59,066 --> 00:31:00,317
- Really? - Yeah!

615
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:01,443
You weren't?

616
00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:02,694
You weren't... - No.

617
00:31:02,778 --> 00:31:04,112
- Well, I had no idea you were unhappy!

618
00:31:04,196 --> 00:31:05,197
- Exactly.

619
00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:06,990
- But you're my morning bird.

620
00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:07,991
Remember?

621
00:31:13,747 --> 00:31:15,165
- I have to go.

622
00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,460
- Well, okay, then I have to go, too.

623
00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:21,338
You know, you're not the only one with hookups, okay?

624
00:31:21,421 --> 00:31:22,672
I got a lot of girls.

625
00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:24,925
So many girls, I had to ice my dick the other day.

626
00:31:25,008 --> 00:31:28,136
And your man's not the only one that can grab a perfume.

627
00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:30,639
Ooh, Come to Me by Ron Jeremy.

628
00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:31,848
It's so hard.

629
00:31:31,932 --> 00:31:32,682
Look, oh.

630
00:31:34,101 --> 00:31:35,185
Ah, I got Come in my eyes! - I've heard enough.

631
00:31:35,268 --> 00:31:37,813
- There's Come! Ugh! - Bob.

632
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,564
- Terri, listen, okay?

633
00:31:39,648 --> 00:31:41,108
It's the little things, you know.

634
00:31:41,191 --> 00:31:42,275
- It's the... - Hey.

635
00:31:42,359 --> 00:31:43,360
- Oh. - Yeah, not Terri.

636
00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:45,612
- Mhmm. - Let's put this back.

637
00:31:47,572 --> 00:31:48,657
Love stinks, Bob.

638
00:31:49,783 --> 00:31:50,575
Sorry!

639
00:31:55,122 --> 00:31:56,790
- Have you been crying?

640
00:31:58,959 --> 00:32:00,460
You smell like my aunt.

641
00:32:01,503 --> 00:32:03,672
Is that Come to Me?

642
00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:06,883
- No, it's allergies.

643
00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:10,137
- Oh, well, I hope you ain't allergic to hotties.

644
00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:12,431
Take a look at the boofay tonight.

645
00:32:12,514 --> 00:32:15,392
Go ahead, pick one out.

646
00:32:15,475 --> 00:32:16,226
- Pick one out?

647
00:32:16,309 --> 00:32:17,978
It's not that easy.

648
00:32:18,061 --> 00:32:19,229
- Come on.

649
00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:22,107
- What makes you such an expert on women anyways?

650
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,570
Power of the Pussy.

651
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:30,365
- Did you get that in like a gumball machine?

652
00:32:30,449 --> 00:32:33,076
- Well, scoff if you will, one-timer,

653
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:37,080
but pussy rules the universe.

654
00:32:37,164 --> 00:32:39,624
- More like money rules the universe.

655
00:32:39,708 --> 00:32:41,251
- Oh, come on, man.

656
00:32:41,334 --> 00:32:43,670
Everything men do is because of the pussy.

657
00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:46,923
You think they want fame, power, money,

658
00:32:47,007 --> 00:32:48,091
just for the sake of it?

659
00:32:48,175 --> 00:32:49,384
Shit, no!

660
00:32:49,468 --> 00:32:52,888
They know that all that crap leads to pussy.

661
00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:56,224
- You know, we evolved from cavemen

662
00:32:56,308 --> 00:32:59,478
like thousands and thousands of years ago, right?

663
00:32:59,561 --> 00:33:02,522
- Well, can't ignore your primality.

664
00:33:02,606 --> 00:33:04,191
- It's not a word.

665
00:33:04,274 --> 00:33:05,650
- See anything you like?

666
00:33:07,944 --> 00:33:09,404
- She's beautiful.

667
00:33:12,407 --> 00:33:15,160
- Look, have you seen that Julia Roberts movie?

668
00:33:15,243 --> 00:33:18,121
"Eat, Pray, Love."

669
00:33:18,205 --> 00:33:19,289
- Yeah. - Yeah.

670
00:33:19,372 --> 00:33:21,208
Well, now you're looking at the sequel,

671
00:33:21,291 --> 00:33:23,585
"Eat, Eat, Eat."

672
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:26,796
Come on, man, I have a reputation to uphold!

673
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:28,965
- Come on, she seems...

674
00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:37,807
- Oh. - Mother of all Manatees.

675
00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:41,645
- Mmm.

676
00:33:41,728 --> 00:33:44,481
Yep, uh, blonde at the booth.

677
00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:45,649
She's beautiful.

678
00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:46,816
- Oh.

679
00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:48,276
Binjo!

680
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:51,112
- Like, I wasn't that drunk.

681
00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:55,575
- Hello, ladies.

682
00:33:57,077 --> 00:33:59,704
Didn't expect to see anyone sitting in our koala booth,

683
00:33:59,788 --> 00:34:02,249
but hey, it happens.

684
00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:04,251
- Koala booth?

685
00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:06,461
- Yeah, you know, donated by the zoo.

686
00:34:06,544 --> 00:34:09,297
Kind of like a, like a hospital wing, ha.

687
00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:12,759
Everybody knows about the, uh, the koala booth.

688
00:34:12,842 --> 00:34:17,264
- Wait, you're from the zoo and work with koalas?

689
00:34:19,349 --> 00:34:20,766
Oh my god.

690
00:34:20,850 --> 00:34:22,060
Here, sit down.

691
00:34:22,143 --> 00:34:24,062
We didn't mean to take your booth.

692
00:34:25,021 --> 00:34:28,775
- Well, don't mind if we poo.

693
00:34:32,862 --> 00:34:34,864
- Oh my god, so koalas.

694
00:34:34,947 --> 00:34:36,074
What are they like?

695
00:34:36,157 --> 00:34:39,119
- Oh, they're the cutest little fuckers ever.

696
00:34:39,202 --> 00:34:42,330
Like, little hairy Italian babies.

697
00:34:43,248 --> 00:34:44,873
- You get to hold them?

698
00:34:44,958 --> 00:34:46,626
- Oh, of course.

699
00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:49,545
Say hello to Butterbuns.

700
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,301
One of the only albino koalas on the whole planet.

701
00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:57,554
- Aw! So white.

702
00:34:57,637 --> 00:34:59,556
- White like a bleached asshole

703
00:34:59,639 --> 00:35:03,560
staring you in the eye on a moonless night at a Motel 6.

704
00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:06,229
- I love a bleached asshole.

705
00:35:06,313 --> 00:35:08,732
- You have a koala, for Christ's sake?

706
00:35:08,815 --> 00:35:10,358
- Aw.

707
00:35:11,484 --> 00:35:14,321
- I keep a bottle of eucalyptus juice in the glove box.

708
00:35:14,404 --> 00:35:16,156
Just spray it all over her.

709
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,158
That little white bastard will cling to her

710
00:35:18,241 --> 00:35:21,828
like a dingleberry on a truck driver's ass hair.

711
00:35:21,911 --> 00:35:24,998
- Aw. - Aw, I wanna hold him.

712
00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:26,291
- Well, you know, they don't do well

713
00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:29,252
with all the, uh, the noise and the commotion.

714
00:35:29,336 --> 00:35:33,089
So, uh, listen, why don't you take her down to the car

715
00:35:33,173 --> 00:35:35,508
and show her little Butterbuns, Bob?

716
00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:38,511
- Oh my god, really?

717
00:35:38,595 --> 00:35:39,971
- Let's go.

718
00:35:40,055 --> 00:35:41,973
- Oh, okay.

719
00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:43,058
Oh my god!

720
00:35:45,226 --> 00:35:47,896
- Ah, isn't he cute? - Oh, yeah.

721
00:35:47,979 --> 00:35:49,898
- White, fluffy.

722
00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:54,110
Like a tampon that's been left out in the rain.

723
00:36:00,325 --> 00:36:01,493
- Yes, okay.

724
00:36:03,536 --> 00:36:05,622
- When can I meet the koala?

725
00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:07,290
- The, uh, koa, yeah!

726
00:36:07,374 --> 00:36:09,209
The, um, right.

727
00:36:09,292 --> 00:36:11,878
- Is he fucking over here? - Oh, yeah!

728
00:36:13,046 --> 00:36:15,215
- This should get him out.

729
00:36:16,674 --> 00:36:17,717
- Oh, yeah.

730
00:36:20,512 --> 00:36:21,513
- Whew!

731
00:36:22,514 --> 00:36:24,015
- While we're waiting,

732
00:36:24,099 --> 00:36:25,725
let's see if I can get the python

733
00:36:25,809 --> 00:36:28,895
to come out of the reptile house, Mr. Zookeeper.

734
00:36:28,978 --> 00:36:30,814
- Oh, that's me. - Oh, yeah.

735
00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:32,941
You got some venom down there for Mommy?

736
00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:34,651
- I don't know. - Oh, yeah!

737
00:36:34,734 --> 00:36:35,610
A big python.

738
00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:38,279
Oh my god! It's purple!

739
00:36:38,363 --> 00:36:39,155
- Oh my god!

740
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:43,993
- Ah!

741
00:36:44,077 --> 00:36:44,828
Ah!

742
00:36:46,121 --> 00:36:47,288
- Oh my god!

743
00:36:52,293 --> 00:36:53,336
I don't know what to do!

744
00:36:57,132 --> 00:36:58,174
No!

745
00:36:59,426 --> 00:37:00,343
Help! Please!

746
00:37:02,846 --> 00:37:05,181
Butterbuns! Down!

747
00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:09,018
Oh!

748
00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:11,146
Stop!

749
00:37:12,939 --> 00:37:14,274
He's fucking her face!

750
00:37:15,442 --> 00:37:16,192
Koala rape!

751
00:37:17,944 --> 00:37:18,820
Koala fucking!

752
00:37:20,613 --> 00:37:21,614
Please! Help!

753
00:37:23,283 --> 00:37:24,617
- Wait. What the hell?

754
00:37:24,701 --> 00:37:26,369
She screamed? - Yeah.

755
00:37:27,912 --> 00:37:29,539
My cock is purple, Turk.

756
00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:33,251
Don't you remember the goofy grape Slurpee idea you had?

757
00:37:33,334 --> 00:37:35,378
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

758
00:37:35,462 --> 00:37:37,922
You're telling me you still have Smurf cock?

759
00:37:38,631 --> 00:37:40,049
- Yeah.

760
00:37:40,133 --> 00:37:42,594
- You didn't, like, douche it in vinegar or something?

761
00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:45,764
- What? Douche it off with vinegar?

762
00:37:45,847 --> 00:37:48,725
No, more like why did I let you convince me

763
00:37:48,808 --> 00:37:51,853
to put onion rings on my dick in the first place?

764
00:37:53,855 --> 00:37:54,814
It's not funny, Turk.

765
00:38:05,909 --> 00:38:08,244
It is kind of funny if you think about it.

766
00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:17,420
- Hey, I got a box of donuts in the back.

767
00:38:17,504 --> 00:38:18,421
You wanna try those?

768
00:38:23,176 --> 00:38:25,929
- I got, like, second-degree burns on my dick.

769
00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:28,348
- It's like a deep-fried totem pole.

770
00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:32,143
- Yeah!

771
00:38:37,607 --> 00:38:39,150
Where do you come up with this shit?

772
00:38:39,234 --> 00:38:41,277
I mean, albino koalas?

773
00:38:42,487 --> 00:38:44,822
- Hey, it's what I do, junior.

774
00:38:44,906 --> 00:38:46,366
It's my job.

775
00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:49,369
- Well, you're damn good at it, I gotta tell you that.

776
00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:51,704
I gotta ask, why? All this, why?

777
00:38:51,788 --> 00:38:53,039
I mean, you're a fully grown adult

778
00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:55,708
and yet you do this for a living?

779
00:38:55,792 --> 00:38:57,085
What am I missing here?

780
00:38:57,168 --> 00:38:58,461
Not that there's anything wrong with what you do,

781
00:38:58,545 --> 00:39:00,880
it's just, like, I don't know, come on.

782
00:39:00,964 --> 00:39:03,675
It's not like they teach wingman classes at DeVry.

783
00:39:03,758 --> 00:39:06,344
Fail, you know?

784
00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:07,262
- Hey!

785
00:39:13,935 --> 00:39:16,980
Failing's for guys that don't complete their missions.

786
00:39:17,063 --> 00:39:20,400
I will complete my mission,

787
00:39:20,483 --> 00:39:24,737
so don't ever say fail to me again, ever!

788
00:39:25,446 --> 00:39:27,407
- Relax, Turk, I was just asking.

789
00:39:29,409 --> 00:39:30,785
- Yeah, okay.

790
00:39:30,869 --> 00:39:31,870
Listen,

791
00:39:33,288 --> 00:39:34,914
we're here to get you laid.

792
00:39:36,082 --> 00:39:38,126
Not talk about my personal life.

793
00:39:40,044 --> 00:39:41,838
- Okay, understood.

794
00:39:46,759 --> 00:39:48,928
Oh, and Turk. - Yeah.

795
00:39:49,012 --> 00:39:51,097
- Sorry about losing Butterbuns.

796
00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:55,101
- Don't worry, he always comes home to Daddy.

797
00:39:56,269 --> 00:39:58,021
Shorty's Sports Bar,

798
00:39:58,104 --> 00:40:00,607
tomorrow, after work.

799
00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:02,400
- Got it.

800
00:40:09,449 --> 00:40:12,660
- Come on, there's gotta be something on this guy.

801
00:40:13,536 --> 00:40:17,874
Turk Thompson.

802
00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:19,334
- What are you doing, baby?

803
00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,377
It's late, come to bed.

804
00:40:22,170 --> 00:40:24,714
- You ever hear of a wingman, baby?

805
00:40:24,797 --> 00:40:26,132
- Yeah, of course.

806
00:40:26,215 --> 00:40:27,842
- You have? - Sure.

807
00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:29,385
I have an uncle that's a wingman.

808
00:40:29,469 --> 00:40:32,889
- Can I meet him? - Yes, anything.

809
00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:34,933
Just come to bed.

810
00:40:42,231 --> 00:40:44,859
Mmm.

811
00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:54,494
- I didn't know hot women came to sports bars.

812
00:40:54,577 --> 00:40:56,621
- Oh yeah, they like to hunt here.

813
00:40:57,789 --> 00:41:00,249
You, uh, you enjoying the dip?

814
00:41:02,251 --> 00:41:04,712
- Oh yeah, it's a little gooey, but-

815
00:41:04,796 --> 00:41:07,256
- Yeah, 'cause that's my hair gel.

816
00:41:10,426 --> 00:41:12,428
Okay now, let's see.

817
00:41:12,512 --> 00:41:15,056
No, that one's got a crooked leg.

818
00:41:15,139 --> 00:41:17,266
Maybe you, not that one.

819
00:41:18,351 --> 00:41:19,769
- You know, I've been meaning to ask you, Turk.

820
00:41:19,852 --> 00:41:21,813
You clearly have all these women figured out.

821
00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:23,064
How are you with the ladies?

822
00:41:23,147 --> 00:41:25,441
You must have like a million girlfriends.

823
00:41:25,525 --> 00:41:27,402
- No, I keep it simple.

824
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:30,488
Just one, you, uh, you wanna meet her?

825
00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:33,199
- Sure, yeah.

826
00:41:33,282 --> 00:41:34,283
Is she here?

827
00:41:35,451 --> 00:41:37,120
- Say hello to Betty.

828
00:41:37,203 --> 00:41:39,455
- Oh, what the hell is that?

829
00:41:39,539 --> 00:41:40,832
- Betty, this is Bob.

830
00:41:40,915 --> 00:41:42,166
Bob, this is Betty.

831
00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:44,627
- Turk, please, people are eating.

832
00:41:44,711 --> 00:41:47,255
- Listen, kid, she's the perfect girl.

833
00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:48,798
She doesn't need to go to dinner.

834
00:41:48,881 --> 00:41:50,675
She doesn't need to go shopping.

835
00:41:50,758 --> 00:41:52,260
She, uh,

836
00:41:52,343 --> 00:41:53,886
keeps me satisfied.

837
00:41:53,970 --> 00:41:54,971
- What, do you just carry that thing

838
00:41:55,054 --> 00:41:56,639
around with you all the time?

839
00:41:56,723 --> 00:42:01,102
- Listen, kid, the vagina's like a magic amulet,

840
00:42:01,185 --> 00:42:02,812
turns men into zombies.

841
00:42:02,895 --> 00:42:07,316
Yeah, wherever it goes, they go.

842
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,945
Power of the pussy, baby.

843
00:42:11,029 --> 00:42:14,574
No man can resist. - What the?

844
00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:19,912
- Dog rescue reject coming in hard.

845
00:42:20,913 --> 00:42:25,418
Yeah, I see her at every social event in town.

846
00:42:26,419 --> 00:42:28,463
So here's what we're gonna do,

847
00:42:28,546 --> 00:42:32,091
I'll use Betty to take out the jock meatheads

848
00:42:32,175 --> 00:42:34,177
and you go in for the kill.

849
00:42:37,263 --> 00:42:38,848
Excuse me, boys.

850
00:42:39,766 --> 00:42:41,184
Okay.

851
00:42:41,267 --> 00:42:43,227
- Yeah, why don't you watch where you're going, asshole?

852
00:42:43,311 --> 00:42:46,814
- Oh, why don't you watch this, hm?

853
00:42:46,898 --> 00:42:49,108
Come on, boys, come on.

854
00:42:50,943 --> 00:42:52,361
Come on.

855
00:42:52,445 --> 00:42:53,279
- Hello. - Hi.

856
00:42:54,614 --> 00:42:55,531
- How are you?

857
00:43:11,881 --> 00:43:14,967
- Hey, what are we doing out here?

858
00:43:15,051 --> 00:43:16,803
Let's kick this old dude's ass!

859
00:43:37,490 --> 00:43:40,451
- Hey, wingman, you got time for one more?

860
00:43:44,330 --> 00:43:48,751
- Jesus, there's always one that won't stay down.

861
00:43:57,552 --> 00:43:59,428
Fuck me tender in the night.

862
00:43:59,512 --> 00:44:01,389
- You left your asshat alone in there.

863
00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:04,308
A wingman never leaves his man.

864
00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:07,603
- But I had, I had enemy combatants coming in on all sides.

865
00:44:07,687 --> 00:44:09,689
There was, 'cause they were, they were all-

866
00:44:30,585 --> 00:44:31,794
- It's really interesting.

867
00:44:31,878 --> 00:44:33,462
- I know. - Yeah.

868
00:44:33,546 --> 00:44:36,924
- Well, my last dog died.

869
00:44:37,008 --> 00:44:39,135
- Oh no. - Yeah.

870
00:44:39,218 --> 00:44:41,554
- That's unfortunate. - I know.

871
00:44:43,556 --> 00:44:47,310
Oh, no, that's so sad.

872
00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:49,604
How did he die, your dog?

873
00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:51,606
- Hit by a bus. - A greyhound?

874
00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:55,610
- No, it was a chihuahua. - Oh.

875
00:44:55,693 --> 00:44:58,154
- Yeah.

876
00:44:59,989 --> 00:45:02,658
- Look, you show her tears, she's all yours.

877
00:45:02,742 --> 00:45:05,494
- I can't cry on demand.

878
00:45:05,578 --> 00:45:09,582
- All right, this is gonna sting, but it will get you tears.

879
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,210
- Ow!

880
00:45:12,293 --> 00:45:15,713
Fuck!

881
00:45:23,095 --> 00:45:24,388
- You. - Yeah.

882
00:45:25,097 --> 00:45:26,182
- You're crying.

883
00:45:26,265 --> 00:45:27,350
- So sad.

884
00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:34,857
- One sec. - Yeah.

885
00:45:34,941 --> 00:45:36,734
Oh, no, you don't have-

886
00:45:38,653 --> 00:45:40,154
Oh god.

887
00:45:40,237 --> 00:45:41,656
Oh, mm-mm, mm-mm.

888
00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:49,664
- Is he okay? - Just emotional.

889
00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:50,748
He, uh,

890
00:45:50,831 --> 00:45:52,208
he also had a chihuahua. - Oh, yeah?

891
00:45:52,291 --> 00:45:55,586
- Died in a horrible lawnmower accident.

892
00:45:55,670 --> 00:45:57,672
Meat everywhere. - Oh my god.

893
00:45:57,755 --> 00:45:58,923
- Yeah.

894
00:45:59,006 --> 00:46:00,675
You know what the irony is? - Yeah?

895
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:03,427
- Dog's name was Taco. - Taco.

896
00:46:03,511 --> 00:46:05,930
- The little bugeyed, trembly bastard.

897
00:46:06,013 --> 00:46:11,185
- Oh my god, Taco?

898
00:46:18,359 --> 00:46:20,027
- Turk, you're awfully quiet.

899
00:46:20,111 --> 00:46:20,945
You okay?

900
00:46:23,406 --> 00:46:26,117
Like you've seen a ghost or something.

901
00:46:29,161 --> 00:46:32,707
- Yeah, maybe I did.

902
00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:40,381
Doesn't matter, time for new targets.

903
00:46:40,464 --> 00:46:44,010
No more dog ladies, it's time for cats.

904
00:46:44,844 --> 00:46:46,595
We're headed to Cougar Country.

905
00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:12,872
Barbara Botox at six o'clock.

906
00:47:16,083 --> 00:47:16,917
Let's go.

907
00:47:21,464 --> 00:47:23,424
Hello, Lord Greystoke, uh,

908
00:47:23,507 --> 00:47:25,051
beautiful art, isn't it?

909
00:47:27,053 --> 00:47:29,221
This is Bob, he's an artist.

910
00:47:29,305 --> 00:47:32,141
- It is so sensual. - Mhmm.

911
00:47:32,224 --> 00:47:35,394
You know, I paint, um-

912
00:47:35,478 --> 00:47:36,520
- Nudes.

913
00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:39,815
- Dog lady at three o'clock.

914
00:47:39,899 --> 00:47:40,816
I told you she's everywhere.

915
00:47:42,359 --> 00:47:43,736
Can't let her see you.

916
00:47:43,819 --> 00:47:45,071
Time to D and D.

917
00:47:45,154 --> 00:47:47,615
Divert. Distract.

918
00:47:53,412 --> 00:47:56,540
- You know, how about I grab us a couple drinks?

919
00:47:56,624 --> 00:48:00,795
No, let me.

920
00:48:07,426 --> 00:48:09,011
- There's nothing there.

921
00:48:09,678 --> 00:48:12,807
- Well, maybe to an albino.

922
00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:15,810
It's like a tampon that's been hit by a steamroller.

923
00:48:15,893 --> 00:48:17,186
- Oh.

924
00:48:17,269 --> 00:48:18,521
- Bro, what are you doing here?

925
00:48:18,604 --> 00:48:20,356
- Skip. - I've been searching the net

926
00:48:20,439 --> 00:48:22,066
for days on your wingman guy,

927
00:48:22,149 --> 00:48:23,275
and I can't find anything.

928
00:48:23,359 --> 00:48:24,276
- Do you think he's on the run?

929
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:25,653
You think he's like a criminal?

930
00:48:25,736 --> 00:48:28,030
- I'm not sure, I might have to go on the dark web.

931
00:48:28,114 --> 00:48:29,573
Megan has an uncle that might be able to help,

932
00:48:29,657 --> 00:48:31,158
so I'll set up a lunch meeting.

933
00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:32,576
- Okay, got it.

934
00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:33,577
- Nice suit.

935
00:48:37,873 --> 00:48:39,542
- I like old .

936
00:48:39,625 --> 00:48:41,001
- Well.

937
00:48:41,085 --> 00:48:43,379
So do ghosts.

938
00:48:46,006 --> 00:48:48,384
- I give you nothing.

939
00:48:51,637 --> 00:48:55,558
We are all nothing.

940
00:48:55,641 --> 00:48:58,519
You are nothing.

941
00:48:59,395 --> 00:49:01,021
I am

942
00:49:02,106 --> 00:49:02,982
nothing.

943
00:49:07,236 --> 00:49:08,404
- Oh.

944
00:49:08,487 --> 00:49:13,409
- So what do you think of the art?

945
00:49:15,035 --> 00:49:17,288
- It is all in the mind, people.

946
00:49:17,371 --> 00:49:19,665
We are all but fragments.

947
00:49:20,499 --> 00:49:24,170
For what is a man with no legs?

948
00:49:25,087 --> 00:49:28,340
What is a woman with one arm?

949
00:49:29,592 --> 00:49:33,471
- A 50/50 shot at a hand job where I come from?

950
00:49:49,195 --> 00:49:53,782
- What you're saying is everything is nothing.

951
00:49:54,575 --> 00:49:56,118
- Exactly.

952
00:49:56,202 --> 00:49:59,038
You see, am I petting this dog?

953
00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:00,122
- Yeah.

954
00:50:00,289 --> 00:50:01,832
- Or am I petting nothing?

955
00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:05,961
Am I touching this man's face?

956
00:50:06,045 --> 00:50:07,671
Or am I touching nothing?

957
00:50:08,881 --> 00:50:12,468
Am I holding this furried animal?

958
00:50:13,511 --> 00:50:15,095
Or am I holding nothing?

959
00:50:17,097 --> 00:50:18,182
Ladies and gentlemen,

960
00:50:18,265 --> 00:50:21,477
I give to you nothing!

961
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:24,271
- Here's something!

962
00:50:29,401 --> 00:50:31,529
- Know anywhere quiet we could go?

963
00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:51,006
- I have to warn you, my place is a bit of a disaster area.

964
00:50:51,090 --> 00:50:52,424
Had I known you were coming I-

965
00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:56,845
- Well, if this is messy,

966
00:50:56,929 --> 00:50:58,639
I'd love to see what clean looks like.

967
00:50:58,722 --> 00:50:59,515
- Yeah, right.

968
00:50:59,598 --> 00:51:03,602
- Mm. - Oh, okay.

969
00:51:03,686 --> 00:51:05,354
- Come on. - Oh, uh,

970
00:51:05,437 --> 00:51:07,439
well, why don't you make yourself comfortable.

971
00:51:07,523 --> 00:51:08,899
I'll get us some drinks.

972
00:51:10,234 --> 00:51:12,278
- "Hey, Bob, here's all the work

973
00:51:12,361 --> 00:51:14,196
for your presentation.

974
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:16,365
I hope you don't mind, I straightened up a little.

975
00:51:16,448 --> 00:51:19,618
P.S. Watch out for the rat traps, Holly."

976
00:51:23,330 --> 00:51:24,540
- So I-

977
00:51:31,005 --> 00:51:34,383
- Well.

978
00:51:34,466 --> 00:51:36,385
What took you so long?

979
00:51:36,468 --> 00:51:40,139
I'm more swollen than cheese puffs in an air fryer.

980
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:44,727
- Oh my god.

981
00:51:47,146 --> 00:51:49,398
- Mmm.

982
00:51:49,481 --> 00:51:51,692
Ah.

983
00:51:51,775 --> 00:51:52,901
Ah.

984
00:51:52,985 --> 00:51:54,153
You feel good.

985
00:51:55,654 --> 00:51:56,447
- Oh!

986
00:51:58,699 --> 00:52:02,536
I, you know, I just think we're moving a little bit fast.

987
00:52:03,746 --> 00:52:04,705
- Good.

988
00:52:04,788 --> 00:52:06,582
I like it fast.

989
00:52:08,250 --> 00:52:10,419
It's party time, Pinky.

990
00:52:13,547 --> 00:52:14,340
- Ooh.

991
00:52:14,423 --> 00:52:15,507
Oh, no, no.

992
00:52:17,718 --> 00:52:20,512
Ah!

993
00:52:20,596 --> 00:52:22,598
- You're a very lucky man, Bob.

994
00:52:24,141 --> 00:52:26,143
No blood vessels have been ruptured.

995
00:52:27,394 --> 00:52:29,688
- Look, does everyone have to be in here?

996
00:52:31,065 --> 00:52:36,362
- Though I've never seen such rampant purple bruising.

997
00:52:40,282 --> 00:52:41,200
- Really?

998
00:52:52,044 --> 00:52:56,382
- All right, that was a mild setback.

999
00:52:56,465 --> 00:52:59,051
We're gonna let the purple-asaurus rest for a night,

1000
00:52:59,134 --> 00:53:01,136
and then we're back on it tomorrow.

1001
00:53:01,220 --> 00:53:03,097
- Yeah. - Dress real nice.

1002
00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:04,640
We're going for some, uh,

1003
00:53:07,726 --> 00:53:09,144
Wall Street beaver.

1004
00:53:16,777 --> 00:53:18,445
- Wall Street beaver?

1005
00:53:19,613 --> 00:53:22,157
- We'll get your girl back, Onion Rings.

1006
00:53:22,241 --> 00:53:23,242
You'll see.

1007
00:53:34,420 --> 00:53:36,672
- Holly, I couldn't believe how clean my place was.

1008
00:53:36,755 --> 00:53:37,673
You didn't have to do that.

1009
00:53:37,756 --> 00:53:39,800
- Yeah, you know, I did.

1010
00:53:39,883 --> 00:53:41,969
I was having nightmares about it,

1011
00:53:42,052 --> 00:53:45,806
and I pictured your apartment getting worse and worse,

1012
00:53:45,889 --> 00:53:47,349
and turning into the blob.

1013
00:53:48,642 --> 00:53:51,603
And devouring the whole city.

1014
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:02,281
- What?

1015
00:54:05,951 --> 00:54:08,203
What are you looking at?

1016
00:54:08,287 --> 00:54:09,788
- Nothing, no, uh.

1017
00:54:11,832 --> 00:54:13,959
Did you do something different with your hair?

1018
00:54:14,042 --> 00:54:15,043
- Yeah.

1019
00:54:16,044 --> 00:54:18,297
I brushed it, you should try it sometime.

1020
00:54:19,590 --> 00:54:21,592
Two days until the presentation, Mister.

1021
00:54:21,675 --> 00:54:23,927
You ready? - I'm getting there.

1022
00:54:24,011 --> 00:54:26,221
I'm, uh, on it all night.

1023
00:54:26,305 --> 00:54:27,848
Your research as been a big help.

1024
00:54:27,931 --> 00:54:30,684
Thanks, Holly. - Hey, it's what I do.

1025
00:54:30,768 --> 00:54:32,561
- Oh, and Holly. - Hmm?

1026
00:54:32,644 --> 00:54:35,272
- Tell Tim I wanna rematch on "Halo," all right.

1027
00:54:36,815 --> 00:54:37,983
- Yeah, um,

1028
00:54:39,318 --> 00:54:40,944
look, Bob, Tim and I-

1029
00:54:41,028 --> 00:54:43,113
- Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, my man.

1030
00:54:44,656 --> 00:54:46,116
Better join me for lunch, pal.

1031
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:47,993
I got the goods on your wingman.

1032
00:54:48,786 --> 00:54:50,746
License plate panned out.

1033
00:54:52,456 --> 00:54:54,583
- What are we doing at an airplane museum?

1034
00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:55,959
- We're here to meet a wingman.

1035
00:54:56,043 --> 00:54:57,795
Megan's uncle, Corey.

1036
00:54:59,379 --> 00:55:01,089
- Skip, right?

1037
00:55:01,173 --> 00:55:02,174
- Corey.

1038
00:55:03,842 --> 00:55:05,260
- Oh!

1039
00:55:05,344 --> 00:55:06,762
- You all right, you all right?

1040
00:55:06,845 --> 00:55:09,264
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, give me a hand here, Turkey Legs.

1041
00:55:09,348 --> 00:55:11,558
Jesus, ah, let's go on a tour.

1042
00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:16,104
The other way, the other way, you goof case.

1043
00:55:16,188 --> 00:55:17,773
All right, let's go, boys.

1044
00:55:17,856 --> 00:55:19,149
- You're not still doing the wingman thing?

1045
00:55:19,233 --> 00:55:20,359
Are you, Uncle Corey?

1046
00:55:20,442 --> 00:55:22,069
- Hell no, that's a young man's game.

1047
00:55:22,152 --> 00:55:24,196
- Have you ever heard of a Turk Thompson?

1048
00:55:24,279 --> 00:55:25,155
- He's a wingman.

1049
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:27,324
- I've never heard of the guy.

1050
00:55:27,407 --> 00:55:28,325
Who'd he fly with?

1051
00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:30,035
Is he out of Camp Pendleton?

1052
00:55:30,118 --> 00:55:32,120
- Uh, no, we're talking about like a wingman.

1053
00:55:32,204 --> 00:55:36,875
- So am I, Vietnam War, I flew 32 missions over Khe Sanh.

1054
00:55:36,959 --> 00:55:40,128
Some say that the wingman was the most dangerous role

1055
00:55:40,212 --> 00:55:41,630
in the whole military,

1056
00:55:41,713 --> 00:55:43,674
but I was just doing my job.

1057
00:55:43,757 --> 00:55:45,092
- Uh, listen, when you say wingman,

1058
00:55:45,175 --> 00:55:47,511
what exactly are you, like, referring to though?

1059
00:55:47,594 --> 00:55:50,180
- We flew in pairs, protected the fighter bombers

1060
00:55:50,264 --> 00:55:52,307
so they could carry out the missions!

1061
00:55:53,225 --> 00:55:56,311
A lot of us never came home, bugeyes!

1062
00:55:56,395 --> 00:55:59,439
All right, Tinsel Tits, follow me.

1063
00:56:03,235 --> 00:56:04,403
- What about chicks?

1064
00:56:04,486 --> 00:56:05,904
Did you guys ever pick up chicks at bars?

1065
00:56:05,988 --> 00:56:08,031
- What are you talking about, you pervert?

1066
00:56:08,115 --> 00:56:11,243
Flora and I have been together for 65 years!

1067
00:56:11,326 --> 00:56:12,327
Jesus!

1068
00:56:14,871 --> 00:56:17,833
Boys, you wanna go on a bombing run?

1069
00:56:17,916 --> 00:56:19,251
Ha-ha, yeah.

1070
00:56:30,596 --> 00:56:31,597
- Hey, Turk.

1071
00:56:33,891 --> 00:56:35,517
I thought you said to dress up.

1072
00:56:35,601 --> 00:56:37,185
- Yeah, and?

1073
00:56:38,937 --> 00:56:40,647
- You look good. - Look,

1074
00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:43,859
these chicks run with a tough crowd, all right?

1075
00:56:43,942 --> 00:56:46,695
They're smart, most of them have degrees.

1076
00:56:46,778 --> 00:56:48,780
But if you can bag a smart chick,

1077
00:56:48,864 --> 00:56:50,574
you can get just about anyone.

1078
00:56:52,451 --> 00:56:54,870
- Do you have to make it sound so greasy?

1079
00:56:54,953 --> 00:56:56,747
What if I just try being myself?

1080
00:56:57,706 --> 00:56:59,249
- How the hell you gonna do that?

1081
00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:02,669
- I always wanted to go fly fishing with a girl, you know?

1082
00:57:02,753 --> 00:57:04,546
You know, just two people out in the wilderness,

1083
00:57:04,630 --> 00:57:05,464
out in nature?

1084
00:57:05,547 --> 00:57:07,507
No bars, no pickup lines,

1085
00:57:07,591 --> 00:57:10,677
just two people being themselves.

1086
00:57:10,761 --> 00:57:11,720
- Ugh.

1087
00:57:17,267 --> 00:57:19,478
Are you freaking cereal right now?

1088
00:57:19,561 --> 00:57:21,396
This isn't 1942.

1089
00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:23,899
Those kind of girls don't exist anymore.

1090
00:57:24,733 --> 00:57:25,817
Don't be an idiot.

1091
00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:27,194
Pay attention.

1092
00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:30,113
Do as I say, take this.

1093
00:57:33,158 --> 00:57:35,494
- What the hell am I supposed to do with this?

1094
00:57:35,577 --> 00:57:38,747
- Girls in this place are, uh, thinkers.

1095
00:57:38,830 --> 00:57:41,667
They need stimuli to get their juices going.

1096
00:57:42,584 --> 00:57:43,543
Come on.

1097
00:57:45,170 --> 00:57:47,047
There's your mark, let's go.

1098
00:57:50,092 --> 00:57:51,635
- Fossil fuels got us this far.

1099
00:57:51,718 --> 00:57:52,844
I think we're gonna be okay.

1100
00:57:52,928 --> 00:57:54,596
- No, you can't argue with science.

1101
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,223
Greenhouse gases are real.

1102
00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:58,725
- Did somebody say gases?

1103
00:58:04,606 --> 00:58:07,150
Hey, uh, what's your name, guy?

1104
00:58:07,234 --> 00:58:08,276
- Tim Ryder.

1105
00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:09,361
- Ride her?

1106
00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:10,904
I barely know her.

1107
00:58:10,987 --> 00:58:13,657
Check it out, I can fart your name.

1108
00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:16,034
Tim Ryder.

1109
00:58:16,118 --> 00:58:17,452
- Hey, do you wanna get some fresh air?

1110
00:58:17,536 --> 00:58:18,620
- Let's get out of here. - Please.

1111
00:58:18,704 --> 00:58:20,080
Yeah. - What's the matter with you?

1112
00:58:20,163 --> 00:58:22,541
- Hey, where's everybody going?

1113
00:58:22,624 --> 00:58:23,625
- Whew!

1114
00:58:24,876 --> 00:58:26,962
What was up with that guy, amirite?

1115
00:58:27,045 --> 00:58:30,257
- Thought he was with you? - No, sort of.

1116
00:58:31,216 --> 00:58:33,844
- Sort of? - Not really.

1117
00:58:34,052 --> 00:58:37,222
- Was he or wasn't he? - Not really.

1118
00:58:38,015 --> 00:58:40,642
- Wow, indecisive and a liar.

1119
00:58:40,726 --> 00:58:42,811
Charming first qualities, goodnight.

1120
00:58:42,894 --> 00:58:44,187
- Okay, wait.

1121
00:58:44,271 --> 00:58:47,607
Okay, I admit, I used him as a diversion

1122
00:58:47,691 --> 00:58:49,484
so I could talk to you.

1123
00:58:49,568 --> 00:58:50,777
- Farting people's names?

1124
00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:52,112
Oh, that's quite the tactic.

1125
00:58:52,195 --> 00:58:54,072
- Oh, no, that part I didn't know.

1126
00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:59,077
- Okay, so you got me away from everybody.

1127
00:58:59,161 --> 00:59:00,412
What's your next move?

1128
00:59:02,038 --> 00:59:03,040
- Move?

1129
00:59:05,042 --> 00:59:07,669
- Look, um, what's your name?

1130
00:59:07,753 --> 00:59:08,712
- I'm Bob.

1131
00:59:09,963 --> 00:59:11,423
- Bob? - Yeah.

1132
00:59:13,341 --> 00:59:16,136
- Bob, I've been hit on by everybody

1133
00:59:16,219 --> 00:59:18,013
from doctors to lawyers.

1134
00:59:18,096 --> 00:59:20,807
Okay, I'm not looking for a booty call,

1135
00:59:20,891 --> 00:59:22,934
or a sexting daddy, friends with benefits.

1136
00:59:23,018 --> 00:59:25,937
- Oh no, I, I, I wasn't trying to be like-

1137
00:59:26,021 --> 00:59:29,149
- What? You just wanna get to know me?

1138
00:59:29,232 --> 00:59:31,943
Find out who I really am deep down inside?

1139
00:59:34,279 --> 00:59:35,781
I've heard it all before, Bob.

1140
00:59:35,864 --> 00:59:37,741
Not all women are as stupid and predictable

1141
00:59:37,824 --> 00:59:39,159
as you want them to be.

1142
00:59:39,993 --> 00:59:41,203
- Okay, all right, you know what?

1143
00:59:41,286 --> 00:59:43,246
You got me, you're 100% right.

1144
00:59:43,330 --> 00:59:45,707
You want me to be real? Let's be real.

1145
00:59:45,791 --> 00:59:47,167
I came in here tonight with the farting guy

1146
00:59:47,250 --> 00:59:49,252
so I could hit on smart girls like you,

1147
00:59:49,336 --> 00:59:51,046
and I used him as a diversion.

1148
00:59:52,464 --> 00:59:53,507
- A wingman, huh?

1149
00:59:54,508 --> 00:59:57,177
How pathetic are you? - I'm not pathetic.

1150
00:59:57,260 --> 01:00:00,764
I'm just a little lonely and a little hurt,

1151
01:00:00,847 --> 01:00:03,600
and sure I was trying to get a little action.

1152
01:00:03,683 --> 01:00:05,602
- Oh, and so now you've come clean, I'm what?

1153
01:00:05,685 --> 01:00:07,979
Supposed to like you for it?

1154
01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:15,654
- Have you ever been fly fishing?

1155
01:00:16,655 --> 01:00:18,698
'Cause I'd love to go fly fishing with you.

1156
01:00:18,782 --> 01:00:21,243
- Fly fishing? - Yeah.

1157
01:00:21,326 --> 01:00:24,246
- Wait.

1158
01:00:24,329 --> 01:00:28,625
That has got to be the lamest pickup line ever.

1159
01:00:28,708 --> 01:00:30,585
Wow, fly fishing?

1160
01:00:30,669 --> 01:00:33,088
Oh, oh, oh gee.

1161
01:00:33,171 --> 01:00:34,589
Oh, you got me!

1162
01:00:36,508 --> 01:00:37,384
- Okay, wait.

1163
01:00:39,094 --> 01:00:40,428
I was hoping you could help me with this.

1164
01:00:44,307 --> 01:00:47,310
- Hmm, nicely played, Bob.

1165
01:00:47,394 --> 01:00:48,186
Drink?

1166
01:00:50,355 --> 01:00:53,358
- The best way to get a smart chick is to-

1167
01:00:53,441 --> 01:00:57,112
- Let her think she's smarter than you.

1168
01:00:59,948 --> 01:01:01,116
- Well, well, well.

1169
01:01:02,033 --> 01:01:04,828
If it isn't the world's sleaziest wingman.

1170
01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:07,664
- The Elk Room.

1171
01:01:08,957 --> 01:01:13,253
Let me guess, the old Rubik's, to get in her pubes, Cube.

1172
01:01:14,337 --> 01:01:15,797
Who's the client?

1173
01:01:15,881 --> 01:01:17,924
- Take a good look, Cow Tits.

1174
01:01:22,220 --> 01:01:23,805
- Suck my sister's leg braces.

1175
01:01:23,889 --> 01:01:26,433
I think I know that kid. - Yeah, you do.

1176
01:01:27,684 --> 01:01:31,146
I'm getting my client, his fiance back, Sea Otter Balls.

1177
01:01:31,229 --> 01:01:32,898
- We'll see about that, Turk.

1178
01:01:44,993 --> 01:01:48,038
- This has been a long time coming.

1179
01:01:53,752 --> 01:01:57,464
- When the clock chimes 10:30, we draw.

1180
01:01:58,924 --> 01:02:00,592
- Bring it, Cold Slaw Sack.

1181
01:02:59,025 --> 01:03:00,151
- It burns.

1182
01:03:01,569 --> 01:03:02,570
It burns.

1183
01:03:17,377 --> 01:03:19,838
- There's two kinds of wingmen, Wingman.

1184
01:03:21,006 --> 01:03:22,841
Ones who can take the heat,

1185
01:03:22,924 --> 01:03:24,676
and the ones who fail their mission

1186
01:03:24,759 --> 01:03:27,762
and let life slap 'em in the face with its balls.

1187
01:03:48,366 --> 01:03:49,659
- Daddy's home.

1188
01:03:54,873 --> 01:03:56,207
- No.

1189
01:04:04,549 --> 01:04:05,800
Oh, shit.

1190
01:04:05,884 --> 01:04:07,010
No. No.

1191
01:04:12,807 --> 01:04:15,018
- Binjo, asshole.

1192
01:04:16,561 --> 01:04:18,772
- On the floor now!

1193
01:04:22,150 --> 01:04:25,403
- Hey, hold on, Hawaii Five-O, show's over.

1194
01:04:34,996 --> 01:04:37,207
- Can't believe you know the guy that helped steal my fiance

1195
01:04:37,290 --> 01:04:39,000
and you didn't say anything!

1196
01:04:39,084 --> 01:04:40,460
- Just get me home, all right?

1197
01:04:40,543 --> 01:04:42,337
And be careful, I've never let anyone else

1198
01:04:42,420 --> 01:04:44,714
drive the orgasm-mobile before.

1199
01:04:44,798 --> 01:04:47,258
- Oh yeah?

1200
01:04:47,342 --> 01:04:49,094
- Ah!

1201
01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:49,928
What the hell was that?

1202
01:04:50,011 --> 01:04:51,221
- That was a pothole!

1203
01:04:51,304 --> 01:04:52,680
Oh, look, another one coming up,

1204
01:04:52,764 --> 01:04:53,848
so you better start talking.

1205
01:04:53,932 --> 01:04:55,100
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1206
01:04:55,183 --> 01:04:57,310
No more potholes! - Who is he?

1207
01:04:58,395 --> 01:04:59,562
- All right.

1208
01:05:00,605 --> 01:05:03,483
He's a guy just like me, does what I do.

1209
01:05:03,566 --> 01:05:05,693
Look, I always have my client's back.

1210
01:05:05,777 --> 01:05:07,195
I always complete the mission.

1211
01:05:07,278 --> 01:05:09,447
- Oh, and you, you really had my back tonight, didn't you?

1212
01:05:09,531 --> 01:05:12,033
I mean, I finally had the perfect girl.

1213
01:05:12,117 --> 01:05:13,660
She was ready to come home and close the deal.

1214
01:05:13,743 --> 01:05:16,371
As stupid as your Rubik's Cube idea was, it worked.

1215
01:05:16,454 --> 01:05:19,541
But then you had to get all "Good, Bad, and Ugly" on us.

1216
01:05:19,624 --> 01:05:22,460
- Now settle down, we still got tomorrow.

1217
01:05:23,128 --> 01:05:24,337
Never lost a client yet.

1218
01:05:24,420 --> 01:05:26,798
Just get me home.

1219
01:05:28,007 --> 01:05:29,968
You there? - Of course, I'm here, Turk!

1220
01:05:30,051 --> 01:05:31,636
I'm still driving the car!

1221
01:05:31,719 --> 01:05:32,929
- Well, fucking talk to me!

1222
01:05:33,012 --> 01:05:35,598
What are you, side languaging me over there?

1223
01:05:35,682 --> 01:05:37,892
'Cause I can do it too! - Let's see it.

1224
01:05:39,269 --> 01:05:40,728
- You know what I just said? - What?

1225
01:05:40,812 --> 01:05:43,398
- "Fuck off," in seven languages!

1226
01:05:45,525 --> 01:05:48,528
There's eight, I just hit you with Chinese.

1227
01:05:48,611 --> 01:05:49,696
- All right, I wanna hear Jamaican.

1228
01:05:49,779 --> 01:05:50,905
It's impressive at this point.

1229
01:05:50,989 --> 01:05:52,907
- To Bob-a-rasscrack,

1230
01:05:53,032 --> 01:05:56,786
better fuck off the papparasp, mon.

1231
01:05:57,704 --> 01:05:59,414
Here's one in English, fuck off.

1232
01:06:04,460 --> 01:06:05,545
- Bedroom's on the left.

1233
01:06:13,678 --> 01:06:15,096
- Listen, uh,

1234
01:06:15,180 --> 01:06:18,057
go into the kitchen and get me a rag for my eyes.

1235
01:06:19,058 --> 01:06:21,519
And there's a beer and cold cuts in the fridge

1236
01:06:21,603 --> 01:06:23,062
if you need a snack.

1237
01:06:31,529 --> 01:06:34,449
- Nothing, just as I expected.

1238
01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:42,332
Hmm.

1239
01:06:42,415 --> 01:06:43,416
Ice cream?

1240
01:06:44,709 --> 01:06:45,710
Okay.

1241
01:06:49,214 --> 01:06:51,591
Little salty, but that'll do.

1242
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:57,597
- Ah yeah.

1243
01:06:57,680 --> 01:06:58,848
Oh.

1244
01:07:04,896 --> 01:07:06,648
- What the fuck is this, Turk?

1245
01:07:06,731 --> 01:07:08,399
Why is there a photo of you with the slime ball

1246
01:07:08,483 --> 01:07:09,734
from the bar tonight?

1247
01:07:11,569 --> 01:07:12,820
- Hey.

1248
01:07:12,904 --> 01:07:14,906
Hey, listen, you know what?

1249
01:07:14,989 --> 01:07:17,242
Why don't we just call tonight a write off, okay?

1250
01:07:17,325 --> 01:07:18,993
Look, I, I won't even charge you.

1251
01:07:19,077 --> 01:07:20,161
- Oh, you won't even charge me?

1252
01:07:20,245 --> 01:07:22,163
No, what the fuck is going on, Turk?

1253
01:07:22,247 --> 01:07:23,498
- I trained him.

1254
01:07:24,290 --> 01:07:26,209
- You, you trained the guy

1255
01:07:26,292 --> 01:07:28,002
who stole my fiance? - Yeah.

1256
01:07:28,086 --> 01:07:29,754
- This just keeps getting better.

1257
01:07:29,837 --> 01:07:31,965
- Yeah, look, relax, okay.

1258
01:07:32,048 --> 01:07:34,592
This gig is gonna put him out of business,

1259
01:07:34,676 --> 01:07:37,637
and I'm gonna be the only wingman on the block again.

1260
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:41,391
- So, you've just been using me to get to this prick?

1261
01:07:41,474 --> 01:07:43,685
Is that what this has all been about?

1262
01:07:43,768 --> 01:07:44,769
- No.

1263
01:07:46,312 --> 01:07:47,605
Don't you see, kid?

1264
01:07:48,273 --> 01:07:49,607
It's about the money.

1265
01:07:51,609 --> 01:07:52,610
- Obviously.

1266
01:07:53,611 --> 01:07:54,696
Asshole.

1267
01:07:59,242 --> 01:08:01,744
- Reports have come in of enemy combatants

1268
01:08:01,828 --> 01:08:05,790
shooting an American jet fighter out of the sky.

1269
01:08:05,873 --> 01:08:07,333
- It's our belief

1270
01:08:07,417 --> 01:08:11,546
that Captain Scott Riker is still alive behind enemy lines.

1271
01:08:11,629 --> 01:08:14,007
- Reports have come in of enemy combatants

1272
01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:17,969
shooting an American jet fighter out of the sky.

1273
01:08:18,051 --> 01:08:19,511
- It is our belief

1274
01:08:19,595 --> 01:08:24,017
that Captain Scott Riker is still alive behind enemy lines.

1275
01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:26,352
- Reports have come in of enemy combatants

1276
01:08:26,435 --> 01:08:29,147
shooting an American jet fighter out of the sky.

1277
01:08:29,229 --> 01:08:31,357
- It is our belief that Captain Scott Riker

1278
01:08:31,441 --> 01:08:34,694
is still alive behind enemy lines.

1279
01:08:34,777 --> 01:08:37,071
- Reports have come in of enemy combatants

1280
01:08:37,154 --> 01:08:39,823
shooting an American jet fighter out of the sky.

1281
01:08:39,907 --> 01:08:40,867
- It is our belief

1282
01:08:40,950 --> 01:08:41,951
that Captain Scott Riker-

1283
01:08:42,035 --> 01:08:44,245
- What the hell are you doing in here?

1284
01:08:44,328 --> 01:08:46,538
- Don't worry, I was just leaving.

1285
01:08:46,622 --> 01:08:48,124
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

1286
01:08:48,207 --> 01:08:50,001
Wait, wait, no, no, no.

1287
01:08:50,084 --> 01:08:54,087
Tomorrow night, 2100 hours, Pink Taboo.

1288
01:08:54,921 --> 01:08:56,924
Our final mission. - No, no, no.

1289
01:08:57,008 --> 01:08:58,926
Tonight was our final mission.

1290
01:08:59,010 --> 01:09:02,846
You delusional G.I. Joe fantasy boy.

1291
01:09:04,515 --> 01:09:06,017
You used me, Turk.

1292
01:09:06,975 --> 01:09:09,729
Yeah, and worst of all,

1293
01:09:09,812 --> 01:09:12,732
you're the reason I lost the love of my life.

1294
01:09:12,814 --> 01:09:16,234
- Oh, boo, hoo, hoo.

1295
01:09:16,319 --> 01:09:19,363
Like, you're the only one who's ever lost somebody, huh?

1296
01:09:21,157 --> 01:09:23,743
- You're a real piece of...

1297
01:09:27,537 --> 01:09:30,500
I, I get it now.

1298
01:09:30,582 --> 01:09:32,877
I, I can't believe I didn't understand it.

1299
01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:36,046
Microscopes, beakers.

1300
01:09:37,090 --> 01:09:38,466
Crystal meth, how did I not see this before?

1301
01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:41,301
You're some kind of insane meth head, aren't you?

1302
01:09:41,386 --> 01:09:42,761
- It's not meth, shithead.

1303
01:09:42,845 --> 01:09:44,971
I told you, I brew my own gasoline.

1304
01:09:45,055 --> 01:09:48,225
Jesus, if you don't believe me, look for yourself.

1305
01:09:55,858 --> 01:09:57,443
- What the hell is this?

1306
01:09:58,695 --> 01:10:01,197
- Sperm cells.

1307
01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:04,325
They travel at about 100 million miles an hour

1308
01:10:04,409 --> 01:10:05,743
racing to the egg,

1309
01:10:05,827 --> 01:10:07,578
to the finish line.

1310
01:10:08,496 --> 01:10:10,915
It's like the Fallopian Tube 500 in there.

1311
01:10:12,166 --> 01:10:17,088
You know, if I could just catch that energy in a bottle.

1312
01:10:18,756 --> 01:10:21,134
- So wait, is, is this your-

1313
01:10:21,217 --> 01:10:22,844
- Pancake batter?

1314
01:10:22,927 --> 01:10:25,430
That's right. - Oh my god.

1315
01:10:25,513 --> 01:10:27,014
- Me and Betty like to have our fun,

1316
01:10:27,098 --> 01:10:30,351
but, uh, I don't like to waste anything.

1317
01:10:30,435 --> 01:10:34,188
- So you turn your spunk into gasoline?

1318
01:10:34,272 --> 01:10:35,356
- What do you think powers

1319
01:10:35,440 --> 01:10:37,525
the orgasm-mobile, Broccoli Teeth?

1320
01:10:37,608 --> 01:10:40,027
I didn't fill it up with Shell unleaded.

1321
01:10:40,111 --> 01:10:41,195
- What?

1322
01:10:41,279 --> 01:10:42,697
But, but that, that's impossible.

1323
01:10:42,780 --> 01:10:44,657
The sperm would die!

1324
01:10:44,741 --> 01:10:48,035
- No shit, genius, that's why I freeze it.

1325
01:10:48,119 --> 01:10:50,121
You ever heard of frozen sperm?

1326
01:10:50,204 --> 01:10:54,125
Keeps those pollywogs alive forever.

1327
01:10:54,208 --> 01:10:55,710
Until finally you defrost 'em,

1328
01:10:55,793 --> 01:10:58,463
and then they, they start squiggling around like you,

1329
01:10:58,546 --> 01:11:01,382
like you just squirted 'em out fresh.

1330
01:11:09,932 --> 01:11:11,267
What the hell?

1331
01:11:15,021 --> 01:11:16,063
My ice cream.

1332
01:11:18,399 --> 01:11:20,443
No wonder his breath smelled like a,

1333
01:11:22,195 --> 01:11:24,197
a George Michael youth camp.

1334
01:11:25,490 --> 01:11:26,449
- What if I blow it? - Come on, Bob.

1335
01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:27,784
You can do this. - Yeah.

1336
01:11:27,867 --> 01:11:29,076
Of course, you would say that.

1337
01:11:29,160 --> 01:11:30,328
But what if I can't? What if I can't do it?

1338
01:11:30,411 --> 01:11:31,787
What if I blow it?

1339
01:11:31,871 --> 01:11:32,830
- You're not gonna blow it.

1340
01:11:32,914 --> 01:11:33,831
Hey, hey. - I could blow it.

1341
01:11:33,915 --> 01:11:35,583
- Hey, hey, Maxine picked you,

1342
01:11:35,666 --> 01:11:37,502
because she knows you're the best.

1343
01:11:40,671 --> 01:11:42,173
- Thanks, Holly, look, I couldn't have done

1344
01:11:42,256 --> 01:11:43,382
any of this without you.

1345
01:11:43,466 --> 01:11:45,593
Seriously, thanks, Holly.

1346
01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:49,847
- Good luck. - Thanks.

1347
01:11:49,931 --> 01:11:51,849
- Um, I'm meeting a friend for drinks

1348
01:11:51,933 --> 01:11:54,519
later at Rummy's if you wanna come.

1349
01:11:55,603 --> 01:11:57,480
We'll celebrate. - Yeah, we'll celebrate,

1350
01:11:57,563 --> 01:11:59,440
'cause great. - Yeah.

1351
01:11:59,524 --> 01:12:01,609
- At Rummy's, yeah, for sure. - Yeah.

1352
01:12:01,692 --> 01:12:03,361
Okay, go, go, go. - Oh, I gotta, yeah, yeah.

1353
01:12:03,444 --> 01:12:05,822
- Go.

1354
01:12:14,247 --> 01:12:17,875
My honored guests and esteemed colleagues,

1355
01:12:18,751 --> 01:12:20,545
it is my pleasure to be here today.

1356
01:12:23,381 --> 01:12:25,383
As you know, the global appetite

1357
01:12:25,466 --> 01:12:29,387
for world-class car racing is growing day by day.

1358
01:12:30,388 --> 01:12:33,391
Our vision at Raw Image is your vision,

1359
01:12:34,517 --> 01:12:37,603
to bring modernized, state-of-the-art racetracks

1360
01:12:38,437 --> 01:12:42,650
to that motherfucker right there!

1361
01:12:42,733 --> 01:12:43,985
- I'm a motherfucker?

1362
01:12:44,819 --> 01:12:45,987
You're a motherfucker!

1363
01:12:46,070 --> 01:12:48,072
- That's the fucker that stole my fiance!

1364
01:12:48,155 --> 01:12:49,740
- Then I'm a fiance fucker! - Oh, shit!

1365
01:12:49,824 --> 01:12:51,659
- Fucker! - I'm a fiance fucker!

1366
01:12:51,742 --> 01:12:53,160
And bring your mother, I will fuck her too!

1367
01:12:53,244 --> 01:12:54,620
- Oh, shit!

1368
01:12:58,666 --> 01:13:02,086
- You son of a bitch!

1369
01:13:02,253 --> 01:13:03,504
Oh, I'm gonna kill you!

1370
01:13:03,588 --> 01:13:05,715
- Son of a bitch, get off me, you hooker!

1371
01:13:05,798 --> 01:13:07,216
Bitch slap, man, you bitch!

1372
01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:08,801
Aye, you hit me!

1373
01:13:09,677 --> 01:13:10,845
- Oh my god.

1374
01:13:13,097 --> 01:13:16,017
I totally fucked this whole thing up completely.

1375
01:13:16,100 --> 01:13:17,685
Maxine is gonna be so pissed at me.

1376
01:13:17,977 --> 01:13:18,978
Shit.

1377
01:13:19,854 --> 01:13:21,147
- How could you know, Bob?

1378
01:13:21,230 --> 01:13:24,775
I mean, I would've done the same thing.

1379
01:13:26,277 --> 01:13:27,945
- Yeah, exactly, right?

1380
01:13:28,029 --> 01:13:29,322
You, you, you, think of it,

1381
01:13:29,405 --> 01:13:31,407
you came face to face with a broad

1382
01:13:31,490 --> 01:13:33,075
who stole Tim away from you.

1383
01:13:36,078 --> 01:13:37,330
- Well, um,

1384
01:13:38,289 --> 01:13:42,501
since we're talking about bad news here, um,

1385
01:13:43,628 --> 01:13:45,713
Tim and I broke up

1386
01:13:47,089 --> 01:13:48,174
a few months ago.

1387
01:13:51,677 --> 01:13:52,678
- Ugh.

1388
01:13:54,513 --> 01:13:57,141
I'm such an idiot.

1389
01:13:57,224 --> 01:13:58,559
A few months ago?

1390
01:13:58,643 --> 01:13:59,977
How did I not know?

1391
01:14:00,061 --> 01:14:03,481
- I, you were going through your own stuff,

1392
01:14:03,564 --> 01:14:05,524
and I don't know, I didn't wanna...

1393
01:14:07,276 --> 01:14:08,945
- Hey, come here.

1394
01:14:11,322 --> 01:14:14,116
Sorry. - It's okay.

1395
01:14:16,911 --> 01:14:19,872
- I'm such a selfish prick.

1396
01:14:19,956 --> 01:14:22,416
I've been in my own little world and I, I should've asked.

1397
01:14:22,500 --> 01:14:25,044
I should've... - Hey, it's okay.

1398
01:14:25,753 --> 01:14:27,672
I guess it was coming for a while.

1399
01:14:27,755 --> 01:14:28,965
You know, we were fighting,

1400
01:14:29,048 --> 01:14:31,717
and somehow he always made me feel like

1401
01:14:31,801 --> 01:14:33,469
I wasn't smart enough for him.

1402
01:14:34,178 --> 01:14:35,888
- You're not smart enough?

1403
01:14:35,972 --> 01:14:38,140
Holly McCarthy, not smart enough?

1404
01:14:39,100 --> 01:14:40,393
You work with me, don't you?

1405
01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:43,020
Gotta be pretty smart.

1406
01:14:43,104 --> 01:14:45,314
Actually, I...

1407
01:14:52,488 --> 01:14:53,948
Let's see how smart you are.

1408
01:15:03,207 --> 01:15:04,208
Ah. Oh.

1409
01:15:13,634 --> 01:15:15,386
See, you're plenty smart.

1410
01:15:15,469 --> 01:15:18,305
You're smart enough to get away from Tim.

1411
01:15:22,059 --> 01:15:23,561
Oh, you know what?

1412
01:15:25,604 --> 01:15:27,064
I don't need this anymore.

1413
01:15:28,482 --> 01:15:29,734
You take it.

1414
01:15:29,817 --> 01:15:31,360
You know, here.

1415
01:15:34,947 --> 01:15:35,948
It's yours.

1416
01:15:39,160 --> 01:15:40,119
A toast.

1417
01:15:43,622 --> 01:15:44,874
To new beginnings.

1418
01:15:46,542 --> 01:15:49,545
- To new beginnings.

1419
01:16:04,268 --> 01:16:06,479
- Wow, look how much people love you.

1420
01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:08,272
Look at all this love.

1421
01:16:08,355 --> 01:16:10,357
Who got you all this stuff?

1422
01:16:10,441 --> 01:16:11,275
- I did.

1423
01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:13,903
- Oh.

1424
01:16:13,986 --> 01:16:16,030
- Is this how you treat your clients?

1425
01:16:16,822 --> 01:16:18,407
By sending a date rapist?

1426
01:16:18,491 --> 01:16:19,825
- Oh, it wasn't a date rapist, honey.

1427
01:16:19,909 --> 01:16:21,535
It was an assault.

1428
01:16:21,619 --> 01:16:22,870
- What do you think a rapist is?

1429
01:16:22,953 --> 01:16:23,746
It's an assault.

1430
01:16:23,829 --> 01:16:25,247
And he called me a fucker!

1431
01:16:25,331 --> 01:16:26,457
- What can I do?

1432
01:16:26,540 --> 01:16:29,418
What can we do to make this right?

1433
01:16:29,502 --> 01:16:32,713
- Where I come from, we still believe in honor.

1434
01:16:32,797 --> 01:16:35,883
If the rapist comes forward and proves himself worthy,

1435
01:16:35,966 --> 01:16:37,968
I might show leniency.

1436
01:16:38,052 --> 01:16:39,637
- Of course, he will, no question.

1437
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:41,847
He's one of our best rapist, I mean-

1438
01:16:41,931 --> 01:16:46,560
- I will send Bob over there tomorrow to heal this wound.

1439
01:16:46,644 --> 01:16:48,562
- No, you won't send him here.

1440
01:16:48,646 --> 01:16:51,482
Bob will show up and prove his honor

1441
01:16:51,565 --> 01:16:53,025
where real men prove it,

1442
01:16:53,108 --> 01:16:54,401
at the racetrack!

1443
01:16:54,485 --> 01:16:56,403
And, Doctor, get me a new bed, please!

1444
01:16:56,487 --> 01:16:58,197
I feel like I'm breakdancing!

1445
01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:00,324
I just sent you 50,000.

1446
01:17:00,407 --> 01:17:01,867
- Are those rupees?

1447
01:17:01,951 --> 01:17:03,244
- Yes, they're rupees.

1448
01:17:03,327 --> 01:17:05,746
That's a lot of money, in India.

1449
01:17:05,830 --> 01:17:06,622
Get me a bed.

1450
01:17:14,713 --> 01:17:16,799
- Why have I never kissed you before?

1451
01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:20,553
- Well, uh, two reasons.

1452
01:17:21,220 --> 01:17:22,138
Tim.

1453
01:17:22,221 --> 01:17:23,097
- Mhmm.

1454
01:17:25,349 --> 01:17:27,101
- Terri. - Oh.

1455
01:17:28,060 --> 01:17:30,104
- Your fiance, remember? - I actually forgot

1456
01:17:30,187 --> 01:17:31,397
about her for a second. - Hmm.

1457
01:17:31,480 --> 01:17:32,940
- Yeah.

1458
01:17:34,859 --> 01:17:36,318
Can I ask you a question?

1459
01:17:38,362 --> 01:17:41,782
Would you wanna go fly fishing with me sometime?

1460
01:17:43,576 --> 01:17:46,829
- I'd love that, Bob. - You would?

1461
01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:48,873
Yeah? Okay. - Yeah.

1462
01:17:48,956 --> 01:17:51,292
- Well, well, looks like I got here just in time.

1463
01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:53,377
- Sarah.

1464
01:17:53,460 --> 01:17:55,838
Hey, hi, oh, okay, this is Bob.

1465
01:17:55,921 --> 01:17:58,757
- Oh, I know who he is. - Oh.

1466
01:17:59,717 --> 01:18:00,509
Really?

1467
01:18:00,593 --> 01:18:03,053
- Yeah, we, um,

1468
01:18:03,137 --> 01:18:05,848
met at a function recently, right?

1469
01:18:05,931 --> 01:18:07,641
- Oh, right.

1470
01:18:07,725 --> 01:18:10,311
Yeah, you are the sleazy lowlife who thinks all women

1471
01:18:10,394 --> 01:18:12,188
are idiots and just put on this Earth

1472
01:18:12,271 --> 01:18:14,982
so that guys like you can get their rocks off.

1473
01:18:15,065 --> 01:18:16,734
- Sarah, no, no.

1474
01:18:16,817 --> 01:18:19,612
This is Bob Erdman, he's my boss.

1475
01:18:19,695 --> 01:18:23,240
- He's a pervert who hits on anything that moves.

1476
01:18:25,075 --> 01:18:27,161
- No, I'm sorry, you have the wrong guy.

1477
01:18:27,244 --> 01:18:28,245
- Really?

1478
01:18:29,330 --> 01:18:30,789
Has he asked you to go fly fishing with him yet?

1479
01:18:30,873 --> 01:18:33,334
In the mountains, just the two of you?

1480
01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:36,128
- Bob?

1481
01:18:37,296 --> 01:18:39,423
- Look, I could explain.

1482
01:18:39,506 --> 01:18:40,382
I was planning-

1483
01:18:40,466 --> 01:18:43,177
- What were you planning, Bob?

1484
01:18:43,260 --> 01:18:44,637
- To go fly fishing with you.

1485
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:46,472
I want that, that was all me, what?

1486
01:18:46,555 --> 01:18:47,681
- Really? I don't believe it.

1487
01:18:47,765 --> 01:18:51,018
- Bob, were you just trying to use me?

1488
01:18:51,101 --> 01:18:52,228
- No, Holly, I swear to-

1489
01:18:52,311 --> 01:18:54,688
- Has he given you a Rubik's Cube yet?

1490
01:18:55,648 --> 01:18:56,774
- It's not what you think.

1491
01:18:56,857 --> 01:18:59,610
- Oh, oh, oh, have you met the wingman?

1492
01:18:59,693 --> 01:19:01,987
Okay, he should be popping up here any second.

1493
01:19:02,071 --> 01:19:04,782
Now this guy, this guy, you gotta see to believe.

1494
01:19:04,865 --> 01:19:07,493
You know, he can fart people's names.

1495
01:19:11,246 --> 01:19:15,084
- You know, I felt bad for you all these months

1496
01:19:15,167 --> 01:19:16,543
watching your heart break.

1497
01:19:16,627 --> 01:19:19,046
You seemed like a sincere guy

1498
01:19:19,129 --> 01:19:20,923
who was going through a lot of pain.

1499
01:19:21,006 --> 01:19:22,883
A guy who I thought was real

1500
01:19:22,967 --> 01:19:25,177
and who didn't deserve being dumped.

1501
01:19:25,260 --> 01:19:26,845
But Terri was smart.

1502
01:19:29,306 --> 01:19:32,768
Losing you was the best thing she could've done for herself.

1503
01:19:36,689 --> 01:19:39,149
You can take your stupid cube.

1504
01:19:40,109 --> 01:19:42,027
Why don't you put it on your fly line

1505
01:19:42,111 --> 01:19:44,238
and go fishing for someone else?

1506
01:19:44,321 --> 01:19:45,739
- No.

1507
01:19:45,823 --> 01:19:47,408
Holly! - Let's go, Sarah.

1508
01:19:49,076 --> 01:19:52,287
- Fly fishing? You can do so much better.

1509
01:19:57,376 --> 01:20:00,337
- Oh my god, what is this strange and colorful cube thingy?

1510
01:20:00,421 --> 01:20:03,424
Is this the new iPhone 97?

1511
01:20:04,341 --> 01:20:05,259
- No.

1512
01:20:08,345 --> 01:20:11,098
This is my fucked up life.

1513
01:20:14,018 --> 01:20:14,977
- Excuse me for a second.

1514
01:20:15,060 --> 01:20:16,437
Okay, Bobby, holy crap.

1515
01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:18,856
I got the 4-1-1 on your mystery wingman.

1516
01:20:18,939 --> 01:20:20,691
- Oh, dude, no, that's old news now.

1517
01:20:20,774 --> 01:20:22,192
He's fucking done.

1518
01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:25,779
- Yeah, well good, because it turns out Mr. Wingman

1519
01:20:25,863 --> 01:20:27,364
was a real wingman.

1520
01:20:27,740 --> 01:20:28,323
- What?

1521
01:20:28,449 --> 01:20:31,285
- So dig this, he went over on a covert operation

1522
01:20:31,368 --> 01:20:32,870
over in Afghanistan or somewhere,

1523
01:20:32,953 --> 01:20:36,123
and things went wrong, real wrong.

1524
01:20:36,206 --> 01:20:37,583
- Whoa, whoa, back up.

1525
01:20:37,666 --> 01:20:40,377
Turk is a real pilot? - Was a real pilot.

1526
01:20:40,461 --> 01:20:42,254
He just lost his fighter.

1527
01:20:42,338 --> 01:20:44,798
There's only been one jet shot down in the region ever,

1528
01:20:44,882 --> 01:20:46,592
and guess who was supposed to be protecting him?

1529
01:20:46,675 --> 01:20:50,012
Turk fucking Thompson, your wingman.

1530
01:20:50,095 --> 01:20:51,722
- No shit.

1531
01:20:52,389 --> 01:20:53,807
- But here's the best part.

1532
01:20:53,891 --> 01:20:56,477
They've never found the pilot, he's MIA.

1533
01:20:57,936 --> 01:20:59,146
- So what are you saying?

1534
01:20:59,229 --> 01:21:00,481
They think he's still alive.

1535
01:21:00,564 --> 01:21:03,233
Holed up in some shitty foreign prison.

1536
01:21:03,317 --> 01:21:04,777
That son of a bitch, Thompson,

1537
01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:07,321
all that talk about completing the mission,

1538
01:21:07,404 --> 01:21:09,531
and he never even brought his own man back home.

1539
01:21:09,615 --> 01:21:10,741
What a jackass.

1540
01:21:11,992 --> 01:21:13,994
- No, Skip, you got it wrong.

1541
01:21:14,078 --> 01:21:15,412
I'm the jackass.

1542
01:21:16,497 --> 01:21:18,457
Take me to the Pink Taboo.

1543
01:21:28,801 --> 01:21:29,760
- I fucked up.

1544
01:21:30,511 --> 01:21:32,012
It was me who trained Eddie.

1545
01:21:32,096 --> 01:21:35,015
But Eddie, he was a loose cannon.

1546
01:21:35,099 --> 01:21:37,559
That night, he didn't follow the pattern.

1547
01:21:38,393 --> 01:21:40,687
He compromised a formation and bang.

1548
01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:45,150
That's when Riker took the hit.

1549
01:21:45,234 --> 01:21:46,944
- So it wasn't your fault.

1550
01:21:47,027 --> 01:21:49,405
- Try telling that to Riker's family.

1551
01:21:54,827 --> 01:21:58,956
- So you trained Eddie as a wingman, not a wingman.

1552
01:21:59,039 --> 01:22:00,874
- Yeah, that's right.

1553
01:22:01,750 --> 01:22:03,210
- It's been 20 years, Turk,

1554
01:22:03,293 --> 01:22:05,212
and what have you been doing this whole time?

1555
01:22:05,295 --> 01:22:08,465
- Hanging out in places like this, drinking,

1556
01:22:11,969 --> 01:22:13,887
trying to forget Scott Riker.

1557
01:22:15,222 --> 01:22:17,349
But everywhere I look, I see his face.

1558
01:22:23,981 --> 01:22:27,526
I see his face on dumb shits like you,

1559
01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:30,779
guys that can't complete their missions,

1560
01:22:31,738 --> 01:22:33,157
who can't get laid.

1561
01:22:34,408 --> 01:22:37,452
I'm a wingman, that's what I do.

1562
01:22:38,454 --> 01:22:40,080
And I figure if I,

1563
01:22:40,164 --> 01:22:41,957
I save up enough dollars,

1564
01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:45,878
one day I could go back over there and

1565
01:22:50,841 --> 01:22:52,092
bring Scott Riker home.

1566
01:22:53,927 --> 01:22:55,721
- You really are a wingman.

1567
01:22:55,804 --> 01:22:57,639
- Hell yeah, I am!

1568
01:22:57,723 --> 01:22:59,725
And, tonight, we're gonna crack your nuts

1569
01:22:59,808 --> 01:23:02,644
and get you laid!

1570
01:23:03,687 --> 01:23:05,564
- Look, thanks, Turk.

1571
01:23:05,647 --> 01:23:06,398
But...

1572
01:23:08,692 --> 01:23:10,611
Here's the rest of what I owe you.

1573
01:23:11,403 --> 01:23:13,238
I'm sorry for all that's happened and

1574
01:23:14,031 --> 01:23:15,782
good luck with everything.

1575
01:23:15,866 --> 01:23:17,910
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.

1576
01:23:17,993 --> 01:23:20,162
You still gotta get your girl back.

1577
01:23:20,245 --> 01:23:23,790
- No, I just came to apologize for what I said.

1578
01:23:24,208 --> 01:23:25,792
The mission's over, Wingman.

1579
01:23:27,920 --> 01:23:29,421
- Are you cereal?

1580
01:23:30,255 --> 01:23:31,256
- Yeah.

1581
01:23:33,383 --> 01:23:34,927
I am.

1582
01:23:35,010 --> 01:23:38,222
Maybe it's time to let the past go and move on.

1583
01:23:54,571 --> 01:23:56,490
- You thinking about leaving town?

1584
01:23:57,741 --> 01:23:59,201
Well, you probably should.

1585
01:24:00,410 --> 01:24:01,745
'Cause word on the street

1586
01:24:01,828 --> 01:24:04,289
is you failed in your mission last night, Fungus Face.

1587
01:24:07,376 --> 01:24:11,505
- How'd you find out so fast, Fart Festival Lips?

1588
01:24:11,588 --> 01:24:13,757
- News in our business travels fast.

1589
01:24:14,633 --> 01:24:15,842
It's a crazy world.

1590
01:24:15,926 --> 01:24:18,512
- Crazy like Forest Whitaker's left eye,

1591
01:24:19,763 --> 01:24:21,014
but I'll be all right.

1592
01:24:22,808 --> 01:24:24,810
- You lost your touch, Turk.

1593
01:24:24,893 --> 01:24:27,145
Maybe it's time you get out, hm?

1594
01:24:27,229 --> 01:24:29,731
- Like a retard in a bouncy house,

1595
01:24:30,941 --> 01:24:32,442
there is no getting out.

1596
01:24:33,610 --> 01:24:35,779
- You're like an old lady's tit,

1597
01:24:35,862 --> 01:24:37,823
all dried up just hanging around.

1598
01:24:39,032 --> 01:24:40,367
- What's to stop me right now

1599
01:24:40,450 --> 01:24:44,037
from shoving a giant pretzel so far up your ass

1600
01:24:44,121 --> 01:24:46,164
you think you have fallopian tubes?

1601
01:24:46,957 --> 01:24:48,166
- Because unlike you,

1602
01:24:49,126 --> 01:24:53,005
I have an employer who currently pays me.

1603
01:25:14,901 --> 01:25:16,653
- Look, Holly, Bob was desperate.

1604
01:25:16,737 --> 01:25:17,904
You saw him.

1605
01:25:17,988 --> 01:25:21,325
- Hiring a wingman is more than desperate.

1606
01:25:21,408 --> 01:25:23,744
I didn't think he'd really do it.

1607
01:25:23,827 --> 01:25:25,662
Why didn't you tell me, Skip?

1608
01:25:25,746 --> 01:25:26,955
- He was crushed, Holly.

1609
01:25:27,039 --> 01:25:28,749
His fiance left a week before the wedding.

1610
01:25:28,832 --> 01:25:29,958
What would you have done?

1611
01:25:30,042 --> 01:25:31,251
- Where is he?

1612
01:25:33,545 --> 01:25:35,380
Where is that son of a bitch?

1613
01:25:35,464 --> 01:25:38,258
- Who the hell are you? - Who the hell are you?

1614
01:25:38,342 --> 01:25:41,637
- Ah, shit, uh, this is, this is the wingman.

1615
01:25:51,521 --> 01:25:52,981
- Everyone out!

1616
01:25:55,984 --> 01:25:57,194
Now!

1617
01:26:07,287 --> 01:26:11,792
Okay, we are gonna have a little talk.

1618
01:26:11,875 --> 01:26:12,876
Me and you.

1619
01:26:15,128 --> 01:26:17,047
I wanna know everything.

1620
01:26:20,258 --> 01:26:21,385
Everything!

1621
01:26:25,722 --> 01:26:28,308
- My dear friends, welcome.

1622
01:26:28,392 --> 01:26:29,810
You know why you're here,

1623
01:26:29,893 --> 01:26:32,145
because you're all part of my inner circle.

1624
01:26:32,229 --> 01:26:33,605
- Mmm!

1625
01:26:33,688 --> 01:26:37,484
- You see, in my culture, business is important,

1626
01:26:37,567 --> 01:26:41,822
but not as important as honor and respect.

1627
01:26:43,115 --> 01:26:45,450
My multi-billion dollar vision

1628
01:26:45,534 --> 01:26:49,204
for car racing's future is here today.

1629
01:26:50,163 --> 01:26:52,874
And it must be earned, it must be won.

1630
01:26:55,919 --> 01:26:58,296
- Let the race begin, motherbitches!

1631
01:26:58,380 --> 01:26:59,214
- Woo! - Yeah!

1632
01:27:04,928 --> 01:27:07,013
- And that's all of it.

1633
01:27:07,931 --> 01:27:10,016
I put the dumb fuck up to everything.

1634
01:27:11,601 --> 01:27:13,478
Except for the fly fishing part,

1635
01:27:13,562 --> 01:27:15,063
that was all him.

1636
01:27:16,356 --> 01:27:18,650
- That was the part I love.

1637
01:27:36,668 --> 01:27:41,256
- Look, you seem like a nice girl, hm?

1638
01:27:41,339 --> 01:27:45,218
Why don't you find somebody that's not so messed up?

1639
01:27:45,302 --> 01:27:46,386
I can help you.

1640
01:27:47,387 --> 01:27:50,015
What's your type? What are you, uh, Hindu?

1641
01:27:50,098 --> 01:27:51,433
Catholic?

1642
01:27:51,516 --> 01:27:52,517
- Quaker.

1643
01:27:55,645 --> 01:27:57,230
- Are you cereal?

1644
01:27:57,314 --> 01:27:59,816
- Excuse me. - Forget it.

1645
01:28:00,817 --> 01:28:02,611
He fired me. It's over.

1646
01:28:02,694 --> 01:28:04,321
- Mission failed?

1647
01:28:05,322 --> 01:28:07,032
- Mission aborted.

1648
01:28:16,750 --> 01:28:18,001
- See you later, toots.

1649
01:28:21,630 --> 01:28:23,590
Daddy's gotta ride.

1650
01:28:37,354 --> 01:28:38,605
Hey!

1651
01:28:38,688 --> 01:28:40,941
Hey, pal, you dropped something.

1652
01:28:41,024 --> 01:28:43,235
- You keep it, you need it more than me.

1653
01:28:46,404 --> 01:28:48,740
You never leave a man behind, Wingman.

1654
01:28:49,491 --> 01:28:51,076
And I'm fucking cereal.

1655
01:28:52,118 --> 01:28:53,453
- Wait, wait, wait, wait!

1656
01:29:02,045 --> 01:29:04,673
- Please, choose your vehicle.

1657
01:29:05,507 --> 01:29:06,967
- No, I don't, I don't know how to race a car.

1658
01:29:07,050 --> 01:29:07,926
Let's just...

1659
01:29:08,301 --> 01:29:09,469
- Beat me in the race

1660
01:29:09,928 --> 01:29:11,137
and I'll sign the deal.

1661
01:29:11,221 --> 01:29:12,556
That's what you want, isn't it?

1662
01:29:12,639 --> 01:29:14,140
- Yeah, uh.

1663
01:29:19,437 --> 01:29:20,397
I'll tell you what,

1664
01:29:21,398 --> 01:29:23,817
since we're going for all the marbles here,

1665
01:29:23,900 --> 01:29:25,819
why don't you put something on the line?

1666
01:29:25,902 --> 01:29:28,196
Make it a little more worth my while, huh?

1667
01:29:28,822 --> 01:29:29,906
- There's honor in that.

1668
01:29:29,990 --> 01:29:30,949
More money?

1669
01:29:31,032 --> 01:29:33,702
- No, I'm thinking, Terri.

1670
01:29:34,160 --> 01:29:35,954
- What do you mean you're thinking Terri?

1671
01:29:36,037 --> 01:29:39,916
- Well, if I win,

1672
01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:42,043
you disappear, okay?

1673
01:29:42,127 --> 01:29:44,254
You break up with her, you leave,

1674
01:29:44,337 --> 01:29:46,339
and you let me have a fighting chance

1675
01:29:46,423 --> 01:29:47,924
of getting my girl back.

1676
01:29:51,636 --> 01:29:52,679
- Sure, that sounds great.

1677
01:29:52,762 --> 01:29:54,180
Absolutely, no problem.

1678
01:29:54,264 --> 01:29:55,640
Yes, yeah,

1679
01:29:55,724 --> 01:29:57,851
'cause you have no bloody chance in hell to beat me.

1680
01:29:57,976 --> 01:30:01,104
So, please, select your vehicle.

1681
01:30:01,187 --> 01:30:02,105
- Uh,

1682
01:30:03,231 --> 01:30:03,982
I want-

1683
01:30:07,652 --> 01:30:08,570
That one.

1684
01:30:10,488 --> 01:30:11,615
- That one? - Yeah.

1685
01:30:13,825 --> 01:30:15,869
- An old hot rod? - Yeah.

1686
01:30:15,952 --> 01:30:18,371
- You might as well drive a hot dog.

1687
01:30:18,455 --> 01:30:20,916
You think a car made in 1932

1688
01:30:20,999 --> 01:30:23,835
is going to beat a car with all the newest technology?

1689
01:30:23,919 --> 01:30:25,920
- I don't know, but I want that one.

1690
01:30:26,004 --> 01:30:27,213
Okay, that's my car.

1691
01:30:27,297 --> 01:30:28,381
- Are you serious?

1692
01:30:28,465 --> 01:30:30,467
- Oh, I'm cereal.

1693
01:30:30,550 --> 01:30:32,302
- Be all the cereals you want.

1694
01:30:32,385 --> 01:30:34,554
Cocoa Puffs, Froot Loops, Frosted Flakes.

1695
01:30:34,638 --> 01:30:35,889
You are all of them.

1696
01:30:35,972 --> 01:30:37,641
Tony the Tiger, you're a Honeycomb.

1697
01:30:37,724 --> 01:30:38,767
- Okay.

1698
01:30:38,850 --> 01:30:40,936
- You are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

1699
01:30:41,019 --> 01:30:42,479
Follow my nose!

1700
01:30:42,562 --> 01:30:46,399
- Is it? Is there a bathroom here somewhere?

1701
01:30:51,154 --> 01:30:52,364
- What the hell are you doing?

1702
01:30:52,447 --> 01:30:53,907
How'd you even find me?

1703
01:30:53,990 --> 01:30:57,369
- Look, I almost gave up on you, Dildo Tits.

1704
01:30:57,452 --> 01:31:00,372
But a true wingman never gives up on his mission.

1705
01:31:00,455 --> 01:31:03,083
Now it's time for you to make like Santa

1706
01:31:03,166 --> 01:31:06,294
and show the world you got a giant sack.

1707
01:31:07,796 --> 01:31:08,880
Jump in.

1708
01:31:17,847 --> 01:31:20,016
Now,

1709
01:31:20,100 --> 01:31:23,520
I didn't let any man ever ride with Betty before.

1710
01:31:24,187 --> 01:31:25,939
If you're gonna win this race,

1711
01:31:26,022 --> 01:31:27,691
you're gonna need the best motivation

1712
01:31:27,774 --> 01:31:29,818
on God's good, green Earth.

1713
01:31:34,280 --> 01:31:36,866
- Wow.

1714
01:31:42,288 --> 01:31:43,957
- Power of the pussy.

1715
01:31:44,040 --> 01:31:45,792
- Binjo.

1716
01:31:55,385 --> 01:31:58,596
- You're going down, bitch.

1717
01:32:00,306 --> 01:32:03,435
Woo-hoo!

1718
01:32:13,069 --> 01:32:17,198
- Turk, Turk, I don't know what to do!

1719
01:32:17,282 --> 01:32:19,617
- Stay focused, Erdman, you got this!

1720
01:32:25,123 --> 01:32:26,958
- Hello, hello, is somebody here?

1721
01:32:31,755 --> 01:32:33,506
- Whoa! Hey!

1722
01:32:33,590 --> 01:32:36,217
- We're moving now! Woo-hoo!

1723
01:32:36,301 --> 01:32:37,886
- Turk, he's going too fast!

1724
01:32:37,969 --> 01:32:39,137
- Just breathe, Erdman.

1725
01:32:39,220 --> 01:32:40,805
Listen to my voice.

1726
01:32:40,889 --> 01:32:42,348
- Gotcha. - Straighten her out.

1727
01:32:46,936 --> 01:32:51,441
- Now, punch it like a drunk stepfather teaching his kids

1728
01:32:51,524 --> 01:32:55,195
that the world ain't all horses and clowns!

1729
01:32:56,529 --> 01:32:57,572
- Yeah-he-he-he-ah!

1730
01:33:05,538 --> 01:33:07,207
- No!

1731
01:33:07,290 --> 01:33:09,959
- Next time don't bring a Tonka toy to a turbo party!

1732
01:33:10,043 --> 01:33:11,461
- I like my men hairy.

1733
01:33:14,964 --> 01:33:15,882
- He passed me, Turk!

1734
01:33:15,965 --> 01:33:17,050
- Take it to the left.

1735
01:33:17,133 --> 01:33:18,510
- What do I do?

1736
01:33:18,593 --> 01:33:20,553
- And then, slide her up the middle and try to get home

1737
01:33:20,637 --> 01:33:22,138
before you go diarrhea.

1738
01:33:25,809 --> 01:33:27,060
- Oh, that felt good.

1739
01:33:28,937 --> 01:33:29,896
- Turk!

1740
01:33:29,979 --> 01:33:31,481
Turk, I don't know what to do, man!

1741
01:33:35,485 --> 01:33:36,694
- Power of the pussy.

1742
01:33:36,778 --> 01:33:38,863
- Talk dirty to her.

1743
01:33:38,947 --> 01:33:41,032
I showed you what to do.

1744
01:33:43,159 --> 01:33:46,746
- Yeah, that's right, my little licorice whip.

1745
01:33:46,830 --> 01:33:49,415
Ooh, you like when I fondle you like that?

1746
01:33:49,499 --> 01:33:51,709
Ooh, you're firmer than I thought.

1747
01:33:51,793 --> 01:33:54,254
Maybe I'll get one a little lower.

1748
01:33:54,337 --> 01:33:56,631
Oh, not that hole, hoo-hoo-hoo.

1749
01:33:56,714 --> 01:33:58,633
Let me get you a little wet, yeah.

1750
01:33:58,716 --> 01:34:00,510
You ready for me?

1751
01:34:00,593 --> 01:34:02,595
Mm, 'cause I'm ready for you.

1752
01:34:03,596 --> 01:34:04,305
Whoa!

1753
01:34:05,515 --> 01:34:06,683
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

1754
01:34:06,766 --> 01:34:08,226
- Koala!

1755
01:34:17,944 --> 01:34:19,946
- Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

1756
01:34:20,864 --> 01:34:21,948
We passed him!

1757
01:34:22,031 --> 01:34:24,409
I passed him, Turk, I'm gonna win!

1758
01:34:24,492 --> 01:34:28,121
- Drive like your mother's chasing you to boarding school!

1759
01:34:29,080 --> 01:34:29,831
Drive!

1760
01:34:32,083 --> 01:34:33,626
- I'm gonna win!

1761
01:34:33,710 --> 01:34:35,211
I'm gonna win!

1762
01:34:35,295 --> 01:34:36,212
I won!

1763
01:34:36,296 --> 01:34:37,297
We did it!

1764
01:34:38,006 --> 01:34:39,549
- Rubber tire's coming in hot!

1765
01:34:39,632 --> 01:34:44,846
- Oh, tires! Oh, no!

1766
01:34:53,438 --> 01:34:55,523
- Welcome, come in.

1767
01:34:55,607 --> 01:34:56,482
We've been waiting for you.

1768
01:34:56,566 --> 01:34:59,277
- Uh, am, am I in heaven?

1769
01:34:59,360 --> 01:35:02,447
- Hell, you won, kid,

1770
01:35:02,530 --> 01:35:04,157
but you had a little accident.

1771
01:35:04,240 --> 01:35:05,408
You hit pretty hard.

1772
01:35:05,491 --> 01:35:06,993
- What?

1773
01:35:07,076 --> 01:35:08,912
What the hell is on my face, Turk?

1774
01:35:08,995 --> 01:35:10,914
- Picture a pug

1775
01:35:10,997 --> 01:35:14,250
that's been smacked in the face with a canoe paddle.

1776
01:35:14,334 --> 01:35:15,335
- What?

1777
01:35:17,462 --> 01:35:18,630
Oh!

1778
01:35:18,713 --> 01:35:20,506
Is that Betty?

1779
01:35:20,590 --> 01:35:21,591
Ow! What?

1780
01:35:22,592 --> 01:35:24,677
- Some of your teeth are cracked.

1781
01:35:24,761 --> 01:35:27,513
Betty's the only thing holding everything together.

1782
01:35:28,598 --> 01:35:30,516
It's time your victory speech, champ.

1783
01:35:34,604 --> 01:35:36,064
- Thank you, boob.

1784
01:35:36,147 --> 01:35:38,274
- Have you been getting lip injections?

1785
01:35:39,275 --> 01:35:41,361
- You won an incredible race.

1786
01:35:41,444 --> 01:35:43,696
You're quite a racist.

1787
01:35:46,157 --> 01:35:47,116
- There's something stuck in your lip.

1788
01:35:47,200 --> 01:35:48,326
- No. - Is that corn?

1789
01:35:48,409 --> 01:35:49,535
What is that? Let me get it.

1790
01:35:49,619 --> 01:35:51,371
What is that?

1791
01:35:51,454 --> 01:35:52,372
- No, no, no, no.

1792
01:35:52,497 --> 01:35:54,582
That's,

1793
01:35:54,666 --> 01:35:56,376
that's my clit. - What?

1794
01:35:56,459 --> 01:35:58,920
- Also, congratulations on winning

1795
01:35:59,003 --> 01:36:02,131
one of the most beautiful women in the world, Terri.

1796
01:36:03,132 --> 01:36:05,176
- What the hell is he talking about?

1797
01:36:05,259 --> 01:36:06,469
Bob?

1798
01:36:06,552 --> 01:36:07,887
- It's, um,

1799
01:36:08,554 --> 01:36:09,806
you know what?

1800
01:36:12,350 --> 01:36:14,686
Uh,  look,

1801
01:36:15,520 --> 01:36:19,148
a few months ago, my life was in complete order.

1802
01:36:19,816 --> 01:36:22,986
Good job, gorgeous wife to be.

1803
01:36:23,820 --> 01:36:25,947
I thought I had everything figured out.

1804
01:36:27,532 --> 01:36:29,409
But then a good, good friend of mine

1805
01:36:29,492 --> 01:36:31,661
taught me that in the blink of an eye

1806
01:36:31,744 --> 01:36:34,372
your life can go into a tailspin and change.

1807
01:36:35,623 --> 01:36:38,584
And if you're not ready for it, you can lose everything,

1808
01:36:38,668 --> 01:36:41,713
and, more importantly, everyone that matters.

1809
01:36:43,798 --> 01:36:46,718
Terri, you're a great girl,

1810
01:36:46,801 --> 01:36:48,553
my little songbird.

1811
01:36:58,146 --> 01:37:02,191
But I see now that Terri left for a reason.

1812
01:37:02,275 --> 01:37:03,443
You see, in every relationship,

1813
01:37:03,526 --> 01:37:05,069
if you're not each other's wingman

1814
01:37:05,153 --> 01:37:08,656
or wingwoman, then who has your back?

1815
01:37:08,740 --> 01:37:11,034
Who helps you get through every damn day

1816
01:37:11,117 --> 01:37:13,119
avoiding those tailspins?

1817
01:37:14,203 --> 01:37:16,998
I can see now that I blew it.

1818
01:37:17,707 --> 01:37:18,958
I took my eye off the mission

1819
01:37:19,042 --> 01:37:21,419
and I wasn't that guy for you, Terri.

1820
01:37:23,129 --> 01:37:25,423
But I can see Kazzim makes you happy.

1821
01:37:27,717 --> 01:37:31,304
Hell, one more kiss for old time's sake?

1822
01:37:43,941 --> 01:37:48,321
With that being said, I did still win that race.

1823
01:37:48,404 --> 01:37:50,990
And, Kazzim, as a man of great honor,

1824
01:37:51,074 --> 01:37:55,203
I ask that you consider changing the prize.

1825
01:37:55,286 --> 01:37:57,705
- You won fair and square, whatever you want.

1826
01:37:58,498 --> 01:37:59,957
- Then for my prize,

1827
01:38:00,666 --> 01:38:02,919
I ask that you help my friend

1828
01:38:03,002 --> 01:38:07,590
locate Captain Scott Riker and bring him home.

1829
01:38:07,673 --> 01:38:08,925
- Consider it done.

1830
01:38:09,008 --> 01:38:11,886
- Suck my saliva glands.

1831
01:38:11,969 --> 01:38:14,597
- A prize? - A wingman is born.

1832
01:38:14,680 --> 01:38:16,140
- Fuck all you men!

1833
01:38:16,224 --> 01:38:19,102
- Terri, come back, please, my little muffin top!

1834
01:38:19,185 --> 01:38:20,394
Terri! - Hey!

1835
01:38:21,354 --> 01:38:23,940
So you're the scumbag that hired Eddie.

1836
01:38:24,023 --> 01:38:25,525
- You see me as a scumbag?

1837
01:38:25,608 --> 01:38:27,193
- Where are you from? - India.

1838
01:38:27,276 --> 01:38:28,736
- What part? - Downtown.

1839
01:38:28,820 --> 01:38:30,363
- What street? - Elliot Road.

1840
01:38:30,446 --> 01:38:32,657
- What number? - 37.

1841
01:38:32,740 --> 01:38:35,243
- I'm watching you. - I watched you.

1842
01:38:35,326 --> 01:38:38,830
- I'm watching you even more. - Look at me watch you.

1843
01:38:38,913 --> 01:38:40,248
Watch.

1844
01:38:40,331 --> 01:38:41,624
Edward, let's go.

1845
01:38:43,292 --> 01:38:47,505
- Hey, this isn't over, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Face.

1846
01:38:48,756 --> 01:38:50,800
- I'm watching you too, Eddie.

1847
01:38:50,883 --> 01:38:52,051
- Watch away.

1848
01:38:52,135 --> 01:38:54,262
- I am. - Pay-per-view.

1849
01:38:55,388 --> 01:38:57,265
- Terri, come back!

1850
01:39:30,339 --> 01:39:31,924
- Come on, let's go jump in the boat.

1851
01:39:43,936 --> 01:39:44,937
- Wow!

1852
01:39:48,941 --> 01:39:52,236
So, Turk told you everything?

1853
01:39:52,320 --> 01:39:53,154
- Everything.

1854
01:39:53,237 --> 01:39:56,407
- Oh, no!

1855
01:39:56,491 --> 01:39:58,868
- I guess I should apologize for those rat traps.

1856
01:39:58,951 --> 01:40:00,995
- You think? Yeah.

1857
01:40:04,707 --> 01:40:06,417
It's weird, in a way,

1858
01:40:07,460 --> 01:40:09,587
I actually helped him complete his mission,

1859
01:40:09,670 --> 01:40:12,924
but he didn't help me complete mine.

1860
01:40:13,007 --> 01:40:14,133
I'm the first guy

1861
01:40:14,217 --> 01:40:17,094
he's never actually successfully got a girl.

1862
01:40:19,972 --> 01:40:22,517
- Oh, I wouldn't be so sure about that.

1863
01:40:22,600 --> 01:40:25,019
- Oh yeah?

1864
01:40:25,102 --> 01:40:26,020
Why is that?

1865
01:40:30,566 --> 01:40:32,902
- I have my eight reasons.

1866
01:40:32,985 --> 01:40:35,571
- He told you about the onion rings?

1867
01:40:35,655 --> 01:40:37,240
- I think actually nine.

1868
01:40:38,241 --> 01:40:39,283
- Maybe it's 10.

1869
01:40:50,753 --> 01:40:52,380
- I wonder where he is now.

1870
01:40:56,759 --> 01:40:58,594
- He's on a mission.

1871
01:41:06,477 --> 01:41:09,021
- Hey!

1872
01:41:09,105 --> 01:41:09,981
Ooh.

1873
01:41:22,451 --> 01:41:24,620
Captain Scott Riker.

1874
01:41:27,999 --> 01:41:29,125
- What took you so long,

1875
01:41:29,208 --> 01:41:30,543
you son of a bitch?

1876
01:41:38,384 --> 01:41:40,344
- It's time to go home, Captain.

1877
01:41:40,428 --> 01:41:42,388
- Home?

1878
01:41:42,471 --> 01:41:43,472
Screw that.

1879
01:41:44,890 --> 01:41:47,184
I've been locked up in here for 18 years.

1880
01:41:48,978 --> 01:41:51,439
Take me to a bar, Wingman.

1881
01:41:51,522 --> 01:41:53,065
I need to get laid,

1882
01:41:54,150 --> 01:41:55,693
and that's an order.

1883
01:42:02,700 --> 01:42:03,951
- Ah!

1884
01:42:04,035 --> 01:42:05,119
Ha-ha!

1885
01:42:35,650 --> 01:42:40,196
- Oh, that was incredible.

1886
01:42:41,364 --> 01:42:43,157
Oh, wow.

1887
01:42:44,367 --> 01:42:47,536
The way you just bend me like,

1888
01:42:48,204 --> 01:42:49,121
like a tree branch,

1889
01:42:49,205 --> 01:42:51,540
and then just snap me right back

1890
01:42:51,624 --> 01:42:55,211
like you just found the second cure to polio.

1891
01:42:56,170 --> 01:42:57,129
Oh!

1892
01:43:07,890 --> 01:43:09,141
- Mhmm.

1893
01:43:16,857 --> 01:43:20,152
- Where do I ever find a man that can beat that?

1894
01:43:22,738 --> 01:43:23,656
What's that?

1895
01:43:27,076 --> 01:43:28,577
Oh.

1896
01:43:28,661 --> 01:43:30,204
Ooh.

1897
01:43:30,287 --> 01:43:31,288
Okay.

1898
01:43:33,082 --> 01:43:34,250
"Wingman.

1899
01:43:34,333 --> 01:43:37,002
If you don't get laid, I don't get paid."

1900
01:43:38,379 --> 01:43:41,507
Well, what have I got to lose?

1901
01:43:42,925 --> 01:43:45,177
- You ready for round 12, baby?

1902
01:43:46,345 --> 01:43:47,722
- Fuck yeah! - Fuck ya?

1903
01:43:47,805 --> 01:43:50,391
I barely no ya.

1904
01:44:01,444 --> 01:44:03,612
- Hey, pal, who do you think you are?

1905
01:44:05,448 --> 01:44:07,283
- Turk Thompson. - Give me that.

1906
01:44:08,409 --> 01:44:09,827
Wingman?

1907
01:44:09,910 --> 01:44:15,124
What kind of moron hires a wingman?

1908
01:44:15,499 --> 01:44:16,584
Loser-ville.

1909
01:44:21,755 --> 01:44:23,924
- I'll call ya. - Yeah.

1910
01:44:24,008 --> 01:44:25,342
I know.

1911
01:44:25,426 --> 01:44:29,847
In the meantime, take these motion sickness pills.

1912
01:44:29,930 --> 01:44:33,058
I want you to start practicing on your mattress,

1913
01:44:33,142 --> 01:44:35,311
humping it like a boarding school pervert

1914
01:44:35,394 --> 01:44:36,771
caught in an Arizona shitstorm.

1915
01:44:38,939 --> 01:44:40,733
- Hey, where you going, baby?

1916
01:44:40,816 --> 01:44:42,234
Come back. - Loser.

1917
01:44:45,321 --> 01:44:46,655
- Brush teeth.

1918
01:44:51,368 --> 01:44:52,953
Nature's answer.

1919
01:44:55,498 --> 01:44:56,332
- Yeah.

1920
01:44:56,415 --> 01:44:58,959
- All clean and ready to cream.

1921
01:45:11,680 --> 01:45:13,098
- I have my own car.

1922
01:45:13,182 --> 01:45:14,934
I promise. - You wish.

1923
01:45:18,646 --> 01:45:22,107
- Come on, show Daddy some lettuce.

1924
01:45:26,028 --> 01:45:29,156
- Oh, looking juicy. - Oh.

1925
01:45:33,661 --> 01:45:36,830
- Naked body shots! - Woo-hoo!

1926
01:45:51,637 --> 01:45:54,932
- Ooh, release the Kracken.

1927
01:46:16,537 --> 01:46:19,164
- I'm the wingman.

1928
01:46:19,248 --> 01:46:20,249
Yeah.

1929
01:46:21,375 --> 01:46:22,835
- You're cute.

1930
01:46:22,918 --> 01:46:26,088
- Are you cereal?